Let me say the thing nobody is saying out loud in your sprint retrospectives: a significant portion of your team is neurodivergent. They might not have a diagnosis. They might not have told you. But they are there.
I recently sat down with Kari Goldyn – sociobiologist, trainer, speaker, and neurodiversity expert, for an episode of the Leman Tech Leadership Podcast:
Kari is also neurodivergent herself (AuDHD), which means she brings both the science and the lived experience to the table. This article is a companion piece to that conversation: a practical guide for technology leaders who want to lead these people well. Not diagnose them. Not fix them. Lead them.
First: The Numbers Are Not What You Think
Employers estimate around 3% of their tech workforce is neurodivergent. The Tech Talent Charter’s Diversity in Tech Report found the real number, based on direct employee surveys, is closer to 50% in tech.
Read that again. Not 3%. Fifty.
Another study Kari shared in our conversation asked over 1,000 people whether they identify as neurodivergent. Among Gen X, 17% said yes. Among millennials, 25%. Among Gen Z (the generation that is more and more in your team right now), only 53% said they are not neurodivergent. The rest either identified as neurodivergent or were unsure.
This is not a niche topic. This is your team. Today.
What Neurodiversity Actually Means (In Plain Terms)?
Kari put it simply: neurodiversity is the natural variation in how human brains process information, stimuli, and emotion. We differ in eye color and hair color; our brains differ, too. Some of those brains operate outside the statistical majority.
Think of it as different operating systems. Most people run Windows. Some run Mac OS. The output can be just as good (or better), but only if you stop trying to run Mac software on a Windows machine.
The most common neurotypes you are likely to encounter in technology teams:
- ADHD: interest-based motivation, thrives in crisis, highly creative, struggles with repetitive tasks and boredom
- Autism Spectrum: deep expertise, exceptional pattern recognition, strong integrity, challenges with social ambiguity and small talk
- AuDHD (ADHD + Autism together): the most common combined neurotype, harder to spot because each part masks the other
- Dyslexia / Dyspraxia: often highly strategic thinkers, may struggle with written communication or coordination
These traits are not disorders that need curing. As Kari said: “It can become a liability or an asset, and it’s highly dependent on context.” Your job as a leader is to create the right context.
The Hidden Cost of Getting This Wrong
When neurodivergent people are unsupported at work, the cost is real.
A 2024 report found that 52% of neurodivergent professionals in the US do not feel comfortable disclosing their condition at work. Only 34% feel well supported. And when people feel unsupported and can’t say why, they don’t escalate it: they disengage, underperform, or leave.
On the flip side: JPMorgan Chase’s Autism at Work program found that neurodivergent employees were 90–140% more productive than neurotypical colleagues in certain technical roles. Hewlett Packard Enterprise’s neurodiverse teams were 30% more productive overall.
The potential is there. The question is whether your leadership style is unlocking it or blocking it.
Kari’s 3-Step System for Leading Neurodivergent People
During our conversation, Kari shared a simple system she uses with leaders. I want to pass it on because it works: not just for neurodivergent people, but for everyone on your team.
Step 1: Understand Before You Judge
When someone on your team repeatedly misses deadlines, avoids certain tasks, or seems scattered, your first instinct as a leader is probably to give clearer feedback. Maybe performance manage them. That’s not wrong. But it’s incomplete.
Understanding different neurotypes helps you see what’s actually happening. An ADHD brain is not lazy. It’s running on an interest-based motivation system, not an importance-based one. It’s not that they don’t care: it’s that their brain literally requires novelty, interest, challenge, competition, or urgency to activate.
For ADHD specifically, Kari named five core motivators:
- Novelty: new problems, new environments, new challenges
- Interest: genuine curiosity in the work
- Passion: deep hyperfocus on topics they love
- Competition / challenge: gamification, sprints, accountability
- Urgency: tight deadlines, real stakes. Don’t fight this one. Use it.
For autistic team members, the key insight is monotropism: they process one thread at a time, deeply. Interrupting them or switching context constantly is not just annoying for them; it’s genuinely costly. Give them focused work, clear rules, and protected time. You’ll get extraordinary output in return.
This is also where communication intelligence matters. In the CQ Leadership Method, we talk constantly about tailoring your communication to the person, not to your own preference. Neurodiversity makes this even more concrete and non-negotiable.
Step 2: Ask. Don’t Assume.
One of the questions leaders ask Kari most often: “How do I know what neurotype my team member has?”
Her answer: Don’t assume. Just ask.
Not “what’s your disorder?” Obviously not. But you can ask about preferences, working styles, and needs: for everyone, not just the people you suspect might be neurodivergent.
Kari recommends a Personal User Manual: a one-page document each team member fills out when they join. Questions include:
- What motivates you?
- What blocks you?
- What form of feedback works best for you?
- How do you operate under pressure?
- What gives you energy? What drains it?
If that sounds like a lot, start with one question: “What do you need to perform at 100% of your potential?”
This is the kind of conversation I write about in the context of communication debt: the cost of all the conversations we don’t have and the assumptions we never check.
Step 3: Give Clear Instructions (Every Time)
Kari shared a framework from Ellie Middleton’s book Unmasked that is probably the most immediately actionable thing in this article. It’s called What / By When / Why.
Here’s an example of how leaders typically give instructions:
“Can you take a look at the new company website? When you get a chance, we’ll chat about your thoughts later.”
Sounds harmless. For a neurodivergent brain, it’s stressful. What exactly should I do? By when? Why does it matter? If I have ADHD and fear rejection, I’ll over-deliver massively and neglect everything else. If I’m autistic and process things literally, I’ll ask a hundred clarifying questions and probably get labeled as difficult.
Now the same request using the framework:
“Could you proofread all the text on our new website and check for typos and punctuation mistakes (What), by Thursday at 4pm (By When)? Because I’m presenting it to the board on Friday and I want us to look sharp (Why).”
Three sentences. Total clarity. And it works for every person on your team (not just neurodivergent ones).
The Strengths Trap
There is a large-scale study on this. 19,000 researchers, managers, and employees. The finding: people whose strengths were identified and developed showed a 36% increase in performance. People whose weaknesses were the primary focus? A 27% drop in performance.
That’s a 63-point performance gap. Over the same people.
Kari’s advice: stop trying to make your ADHD team member into someone who’s great at maintenance tasks. Start asking who on your team is energized by those tasks and reassign accordingly. Ask when they lose track of time. Ask what work recharges rather than drains them.
Where your focus goes, your energy flows. This applies to leadership too.
This aligns directly with what I see in teams using PCM (Process Communication Model). Different personality types have very different psychological needs and motivators. You can’t lead a Thinker the same way you lead a Rebel, and neurodiversity adds another layer of nuance on top.
One More Thing: Start With Yourself
Kari’s closing advice to every leader she works with: start with self-awareness.
Before you can adapt your communication and your leadership style for the people around you, you need to understand how your own brain works. What are your biases? What do you project onto others? When you’re frustrated by someone’s behavior, is it because they’re underperforming or because they’re wired differently from you?
This is not about becoming a therapist. It’s not about diagnosing your team. It’s about the curiosity to ask instead of assume, and the humility to realize that the person who communicates differently from you might be producing something brilliant, if you create the right conditions.
If you want a starting point: fill out the Personal User Manual for yourself first. Share it with your team. Model the behavior you want to see.
Quick Summary: What You Can Do Tomorrow
- Ask, don’t assume. Introduce a Personal User Manual for your team. Start with yourself.
- Use What / By When / Why for every task you delegate. It takes 10 seconds longer. It saves hours of rework and frustration.
- Redesign for strengths. Map who on your team is energized by what kind of work. Delegate accordingly, including automation where possible.
- Protect focus time for people who do deep work. One unplanned Slack message can derail an hour of cognitive work for an autistic team member.
- Learn the basics. You don’t need to be an expert. But knowing that ADHD motivation is interest-based (not importance-based) changes how you run 1:1s.
―
The podcast conversation with Kari barely scratched the surface, we’re already planning a Part 2. Until then: what’s one assumption you’ve been making about someone on your team that might be worth replacing with a question?
If this topic is landing for you, take a look at these related articles from the blog:
- Why People Don’t Listen to You (And What to Do About It)
- Communication Debt in Tech Teams
- Burnout in IT: Here’s Why
- Leading Tough Conversations
And if you want to go deeper on how to build Communication Intelligence in your team, let me know! Drop me an e-mail at contact@lemanskills.com, and we’ll hop on a quick call to discuss how we can work together!
