Lemanskills.com

Search
Close this search box.

What to Do When You Feel Stuck In Your Career?

Fight. Flight. Freeze. Those 3 things our brain does every time when we face a difficult situation, a change or other case that seems threatening to ourselves. And career choices are for many of us something we don’t like doing, they are stressful, difficult. Even when the change is for the best, we feel uncomfortable, maybe in our head that means that we fail, we disappoint other people or ourselves.

When I think about all the reasons that people don’t make decision about their career, I can see that we are scared of a change. Because we don’t know what is there waiting for us in a new place. Maybe it’s worse than right now? Maybe where we are now is not perfect, but it’s not SO bad. We know how to operate within the whole system on a daily basis. Maybe the tasks aren’t the most interesting, but at least we know what to do.

Sometimes we don’t know what we want to do in our work lives further. We did some studies, started a job, then have another and the time flew. We got pretty comfortable – maybe not super excited all the time, but it’s fine.

It’s fine.

Not so bad.

Those two short sentences can literally kill us from the inside. When I deliver career coaching processes in the organizations, 90% of the cases we talk about start with: “Alex, I feel stuck in my career. I don’t know what to do further, I don’t have any idea, I’m not sure what kind of next steps I can cover to get unstuck”.

So let’s answer this, I hope that’ll be helpful for all of you who read. What can you do when you feel stuck in your career?  

Thing no. 1: Make a list of everything you can and want do in your career

When we do what we like, we are passionate about and what is connected to our values, it’s always easier, more fun and with a better result at the end of the day. Of course nothing is perfect: there are always things that need to be done and don’t thrill us. The most important thing is the ratio: if it’s 80/20 (things we want to do vs things that need to be done), it’s fine. If it’s the other way around, it means that we should take a step back and reflect on what might change to reverse the situation. Because staying longer in that space will lead to the burnout, frustration, mental heath issues, even issues in your private life. Everything is connected, we are holistic species.

The first thing you can do when you fell stuck in your career is to make a list of things you love doing. You can do it in Excel spreadsheet, on a piece of paper or in other tool (digital or not). It doesn’t really matter – choose something that will help you to organize your thoughts and it’ll be helpful further in the next steps.

Make a list of tasks, projects, micro elements that make you feel good at work. You can support yourself with the questions:

  • What do I like doing?
  • When (in what situations) I feel that I lose track of the time?
  • When (in what situations) I feel that I belong?
  • When (in what situations) I feel that I deliver value to others?
  • What am I passionate about?
  • What things at work feel natural to me?
  • What are my main talents (you can add here your TOP 5 from Gallup Strengths Finder questionnaire)?
  • In what area am I an expert, I feel the strongest, I can answer any questions?
  • When I feel that I use my whole potential?
  • What kind of skills/competencies (social and technical/hard skills) I have at the moment?

We (in general, as people) have a strong tendency to focus on our weaknesses, on what we do wrong or where we are not perfect or good enough. That’s why I encourage you to start with this list, to see how many things you are actually really good at. It’ll improve the process of decision-making regarding the next steps in your career.

Thing no. 2: Make a list of everything you can’t and don’t want to do

Not-to-do list is as important as the to-do list.

Make a list of things you hate doing. You are sick to your stomach just by having the thought in your head about it. The things that, when you think about them, make you want to call in sick. Everything you just have doing or you are bored to death when you even thing about it (not to mention doing it). Every single thing that leads you to the bored or burnout zone.

You can support yourself in this part by using those questions:

  • What do I hate doing?
  • What I don’t know how to do and don’t want to learn (and why)?
  • When I feel I want to call in sick?
  • What is the worst thing I have in my head before every Monday?
  • What makes me count days until Friday/next vacation?
  • When I feel stupid/not good enough/not educated enough/worse than others?
  • Who makes me feel like that?
  • What kind of situations drain me out of energy?
  • Spending time with whom makes me feel like dying from the inside?
  • What kind of tasks do I believe that are a waste of time?
  • Which elements of my job don’t bring any value to anyone?

Think about your current or previous work-related experiences. If some elements are repetitive that’s fine: it’s also an information for you that there is a pattern in your choices that you can be more mindful about when choosing the next career space for yourself.

Thing no. 3: Create an action plan to make your new career happen

All of the questions you can find above are for you to use to make a structure around your thoughts. Be as specific as possible, answer honestly – remember that this list is just for you (unless you decide otherwise). Of course this list isn’t ended – you can always add your own questions or thoughts. It’s a tool for you, make it useful in your specific context and situation.

When you have it done, the next step is the action plan. What items from your list do you want to use in your next career step? Underline all of them. Include the talents you have, it’s important to do on a daily basis as frequent as possible the things that don’t require much energy from us, that are natural. What from the list of things you don’t want to do is crucial for you to avoid? Try to not underline the whole list, it might be difficult to create a perfect world. Choose those that are the biggest issue for you, make it 3-5 elements to simplify the process of elimination.

Now, there are at least 2 scenarios: either you have a position you want to cover in the nearest future in your head or not.

If yes – refresh your LinkedIn profile and your resume and send as many applications to the companies/branches that you find interesting as possible. Don’t get frustrated when you don’t have many responses. Remember that many organizations (especially global corporations) have robots in their recruitment platforms, so the human recruiter don’t even see the first set of CVs that candidates send. That’s why it’s so important to go for quantity – if you only send 2-3 applications, it might not be enough to go through the key words engine on the recruitment platform.

If not – find someone who will guide you further to specify the positions that will cover your to-do and not-to-do list. It might be your manager, HR person from your organization, career coach, myself. It’s important to make it as easy as possible to identify what is out there for you, your talents and potential. To avoid the frustration of a long process of mapping and elimination what you want and don’t want to do further. It can take all the excitement and fun connected to the process of looking and change, and that’s not what we want at all.

If you see that you need to learn something, fill out any skill gaps, include it in the action plan with the specific dates. Make a contract with yourself, it’ll cut the procrastination and the I-don’t-have-time excuse. Use OKRs if it makes it easier to stay on track with your decisions. It’s super important to keep moving. Once you have a structure, support and you know what is the next step on your path, it’ll be easier, less scary and painful for your mind and body to keep going.

The bottom line

When you feel stuck, baby steps made in a consistent way are the best solution to move outside of this feeling. Structure, analysis and planning are the best way to put yourself in a better place, to have a purpose again. When you are frustrated in your current job, you need to find your momentum again.

Ask yourself what you want and don’t want to do. Find people who can support you – directly or indirectly. They can get you inspired, even if you only listen to them talking (through podcasts, TED talks or YouTube videos) or you read about them. Find a person (or more people) that already done what you want to do. Find out how they did it and get yourself inspired. It doesn’t mean that you need to copy and paste into your life what they’ve implemented. It is more about a discovery what they did and a decision what will be useful in your life, your situation or resources you have.

It’s your life. And you spend a lot of time at work. Let’s not waste it in a place that doesn’t deserve it.

Udostępnij

Komentarze

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
0 komentarzy
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

Czytaj także

Transactional Analysis

Process Communication Model (PCM): Promoter

Can you recall any situation when a person went straight into doing things, sometimes without more in-depth analysis? Maybe too risky in your head? Or maybe it’s a person who is always in the movement, never sits in one place, and you feel like they live 3 lives in 1? That’s The Promoter. The third of six personality types in Process Communication Model. We’ve already covered two of them: Persister and Thinker. Today we go into the next one, filling out the gaps in knowledge so it all makes sense after we cover everything. We’ll have the base on we can stand to start acting on it: not only KNOW from the rational perspective what we should do. Doing and practice: that’s what is the most important for the Promoter in the PCM personality Base. Let’s go into this world today to check what is the whole fuss about. How do we recognize Promoter? Promoter is a person who experience the world through the lens of doing things, acting on them, movement. Their perception is action itself, since they use their delivery part of themselves the most frequently. They always look for excitement and change in what is happening in their life, when they get a task, project or want to decide on something. The things around them need to be different, challenging, new. They don’t want to wait: they want to experience the world here and now. How to recognize a Promoter in the Base of personality? Again, the easiest way to make a strong hypothesis is to look for the key words that the person uses the most. For Promoter it will be: “Let’s go!”, “Let’s do things!?”, “Why to wait: let’s go and do it now!”, “doing…”, “walking the walk…”, “no more talking, let’s do things”. They say all of that because for them what’s important is seeing the results of their actions. They hate to wait, overanalyze, focusing on too many details. What’s important for them is to go, do things, see what happens and calibrate if needed. The recognition of Promoter is also easier when we look on their non-verbal communication: most of the time they have the furrows between the eyebrows (lion’s wrinkle), their voice is rather strong, they talk fast since they don’t want to waste time. Moderate gestures and body language, rather adjusted to the aim they have to achieve. If you see and hear it, that’s a strong indicator that there’s a Promoter in the Base on the other side of the communication process. How to use it to get along with that kind of person? What does Promoter need in communication?   The Promoter needs communication process where they have a chance to go straight to the action. Extremely important for them as well is to know what to do, have space to do it and act as soon as possible. To be efficient in communication with Promoter, we need to use directive channel of communication (quite different than we had in Persister’s and Thinker’s story). Directive channel means that we create a sentence with a dot at the end of it. Promoter doesn’t want to waste time, so asking them questions or small talk is a nonsense, will never work. That means that we need to directly tell them whats’ there to be done. Using the same example that we got in the Persister’s and Thinker’s case: when we want to delegate a task, so a chosen employee covers it, the great approach will be just telling them about it. “Please go and do a task X, the deadline for it is Y”. Honestly: it’s all they need, nothing fancy. They value Autocratic interaction style. It means that they are the most efficient when the other person just tells them what is there to be done and leave them alone, so they can go and focus on the delivery. Straight to the point, sometimes (especially for the people that are not so big fans of a directive communication channel” might look a little harsh or cold. But for them, it’s perfect. Promoter seek to answer the existential question: am I alive? It’s good to feed that question, especially when we see that Promoter is under some kind of stress or pressure. For them the following equation is the only truth. I’m alive = I can deliver value to the world Motivational needs attached to this PCM type is It’s important to know it, since when those needs are not met, Promoter goes into distress and loses access to their skills, abilities to think clearly. Excitement means that Promoter needs to have stimuli, things to do, new projects, environment, tasks to cover. This need can be covered equally good in private as in professional life. But the important thing is that boredom, monotonous tasks or circumstances is the worst thing that can happen to Promoter. When do we know that Promoter is in distress? Just a reminder: distress is negative stress, that costs us (and our environment) something. We are in distress when our motivational needs are frustrated and to cover them (in a really bizarre way), we into the distress sequence. How does is look like for a Promoter? Driver: you need to be strong for me (meaning: you are OK only if you are strong). On this level, Promoter will expect that people will suck it up, that they do everything on their own, without asking for help (which is weakness). When we see that kind of behavior, we can offer more excitement, changing the environment (going for the walk is sometimes enough), give a new task (even if it’s super small and might look stupid). Blamer Mask. Promoter wears a blamer mask on the second level of distress. It their case it means that they start to manipulate others, set up arguments, sometimes create negative drama. Everything to cover their need of excitement since they are bored. And drama is better than boredom. Cellar: At the

Czytaj dalej
Transactional Analysis

Process Communication Model (PCM): Thinker

Do you have around yourself people that speak data and facts? That connects the dots all the time, since things need to make sense for them? That kind of people that are concrete, to the point and doesn’t what to waste time on meaningless discussions and rather focus on things that matter? That’s the Thinker. The second out of six personality types in Process Communication Model. We’ve started the story about PCM HERE and then we’ve described Persister, as the first stop on our journey to know them all better. Why is it important to characterize all of them? Because thanks to that you’ll know the whole spectrum of the types, so when you talk to somebody, you can make a strong hypothesis about their personality Base to tailor your communication. And because we communicate with others all the time, it’s crucial to have the maximum number of useful tools and practices so we don’t waste time on insufficient communication. At least that’s what the Thinker will say haha.   How do we recognize Thinker?   Thinker is a person who experience the world through the lens of data, facts and logic. Their perception is thoughts since they use their rational part of themselves the most frequently. They always look for logic in what is happening in their life, when they get a task, project or want to decide on something. The things around them need to have structure, and they want a lot of things to make a structure around them as well. So, things have their own place, they plan their time: privately and professionally. How to recognize a Thinker in the Base of personality? Again, the easiest way to make a strong hypothesis is to look for the key words that the person uses the most. For Thinker it will be: “I think…”, “The data says…”, “The logic says…”, “The logical choice will be…”, “The most accurate solution in this case is…”, “The chart shows that…”, “The data in the report give us…”. They say all of that because for them what’s rational and backed up with data, is valuable. If something has some gaps, there is not enough information, numbers or facts, the Thinker won’t do it. They will look for more evidence, gather more knowledge, examples or cases and then, when they have it all, they are comfortable with making a former decision. The recognition of Thinker is also easier when we look on their non-verbal communication: most of the time their face is “flat”, there’s not a lot of mimics on it. Their voice is rather monotonous, stable, as well as their body. They don’t overspend the energy on moving their bodies or use unnecessary gestures. If you see and hear it, that’s a strong indicator that there’s a Thinker in the Base on the other side of the communication process. How to use it to get along with that kind of person?   What does Thinker need in communication?   The Thinker needs communication process where they have a chance to express their thoughts. Extremely important for them as well is to have a space, where they can think, connect the dots, create logical solutions to the problems that occur. To be efficient in communication with Thinker, we need to use requestive channel of communication (as we did with the Persister). The difference is that we ask Persister “what do you believe…” and we ask Thinker “what do you think…”. That means that we need to ask questions about their thoughts on a certain subject. Using the same example that we got in the Persister’s case: when we want to delegate a task, so a chosen employee covers it, the great approach will be telling them about it and then ask about their thoughts on it. “Okay, here is a task X… What do you think we need to do to complete it efficiently?” Asking that kind of question is something that we can do to get in contact with the Thinker. Once they are on board, we can talk about the details (scope, deadline, support, required learning etc.). They value Democratic interaction style. It means that they are good in exchanging thoughts, ideas, solutions. They want to be asked on what they think. They like discussions, brainstorming sessions, but only when they are concrete and not too long. One of the worst things that we can do while getting in contact with Thinker is to use directive communication channel, but they also don’t really like the emotive (too much energy) and comforting (they don’t need all those emotions). But especially telling them what to do without even asking is something that they hate. When they have an autocratic person on the other side of the conversation, they go into aggressive behaviors. By being in that zone there is a huge possibility that they’re going to attack other people. So democratic interaction style and requestive communication channel is a key to success in getting on the same page with that person. Thinker seek to answer the existential question: am I competent? It’s good to feed that question, especially when we see that Thinker is under some kind of stress or pressure. For them the following equation is the only truth.   I’m competent = I’m valuable as a person   Motivational needs attached to this PCM type are recognition of efficient work and time structure. It’s important to know it, since when those needs are not met, Thinker goes into distress and loses access to their skills, abilities to think clearly. Recognition of efficient work means that we are seen as people for what we deliver at work and this delivery is with an exact (or better) outcome that we agreed on. Time structure means that we need to put things in order: when we plan our day, and something comes up, we don’t take it easily (especially then the thing that came up is an additional task that we get, outside

Czytaj dalej
Transactional Analysis

Process Communication Model (PCM): Persister

Do you know at least one person that always has an opinion on a given subject? That has a strong set of values and that is the base of most of the decisions that they make? The person that is trustworthy: when they say that something is going to be done, it will, 100%? That’s Persister. First out of six personality types in Process Communication Model (PCM), the concept created by Taibi Kahleb. You can read shortly about the concept HERE, to have a basic structure around what PCM is really about. Today, I would love for us to have a description of who the Persister is, how we recognize this type is in the other person’s Base. Meaning that it is their first floor of personality structure, where they have most of the resources, competencies, and skills. The Base also stands for what is the most natural way of communication for the other person and through what kind of lenses they observe the world. So today we are going to discover who the Persister is, how to navigate when this person is in front of us and what to do to communicate effectively. How do we recognize Persister? Persister is a person who evaluates the world around them by comparing it to their values and beliefs. Their perception is opinions, and a lot of situations with Persisters relate to comparing one thing to another. How they feel, how they think and how they operate daily against the law, rules, policies, ways of working. While being around people, they’re loyal, and they value trust. They always keep promises: for a Persister it is impossible to even think about not keeping the word. If they say they do something, they are going to do it, no matter what. So, we don’t need to ask them several times a question like: “Are you going to go to do it? What is the progress of it?” because they’ll always do it (in fact, that kind of questions drive Persister crazy). How to recognize this person if that we don’t have their personality structure yet? You can listen to the words they need. For Persister it will be: “I believe…”, “in my opinion…”, “we should do something” or …shouldn’t do something”, “I trust…”, “the important thing for me is…”, “the crucial thing is…”. They say those words because they see the world through the lenses of opinions and values: that’s how Persister is the most visible. Of course, we are talking about being in OK-OK zone. It’s about having an opinion, but also always having a good intention. It’s not about pushing the opinion no matter what or aiming to hurt others. They have an opinion on every single subject and even if they don’t (i.e., they’re not interested in something), they have an opinion on it. Like: “Ok, so I’m not into politics because it really doesn’t interest me: I don’t want to waste my time on that subject”. Based on that example, we can see that there is always an opinion, even if at the first sight there’s none. What is also important that Persister doesn’t have any problem with saying those opinions out loud. And it’s not about being rude: it’s about being persistent, having a voice that matters (in professional and/or private life). Of course, HOW the opinion is communicated is important (it needs to be said from the OK-OK perspective). If it’s not – it’s another part of the story. What do Persister need in communication? I’m trustworthy = I’m valuable as a person When do we know that Persister is in distress? What does to be in distress mean? Being a distress means that we don’t have our motivational needs covered and we go into a sequence that is aligned with certain PCM type. So, if you have a Persister on the other side of the communication process and their needs are frustrated, they go into distress, you will see 3 steps of the sequence. Being in distress means that we don’t think clearly. When it happens, we don’t have access to our skillset, abilities to deal with different (especially stressful and difficult) situations, we can’t act accordingly (even if we rationally know how to do it). That’s why it’s so important firstly to come back to OK-OK, to our Base, and then – once we are there, go and deal with the situation. That kind of approach is always going to work, regardless of the PCM type. It’s worth to remember the sequence, since it is repetitive. By training ourselves in recognizing patterns we train our muscle of reacting accordingly, without going into distress ourselves. The mask invites the mask: meaning that behavior under distress will have influence on us, and even if we are in OK-OK zone, we can go into the dark side. Being aware of what’s happening gives us tools to protect ourselves and support others in getting into better place. The bottom line Persister is a great person to cooperate with. When they say that they’ll do something, we can be sure that will happen, no matter what. We don’t even need to doublecheck: for Persisters it’s impossible to not deliver the things that we agreed on, it’s in their DNA to do it. Their strong principles, values, and a high-level need to be trustworthy make them great partners in crime. Of course, while being in distress, they lose access to those resources and go into not so shiny place. It requires more awareness, being mindful what happens with us (if we are Persisters in Base), and other people (when Persister is on the other side of communication process).    So, I invite us all to observe those behaviors described in the article starting today. It can help us more than we think, regardless of the type of relation, context, or situation that we are in. It’s always worth to develop in this area. PS. As a first exercise after reading this article,

Czytaj dalej
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x