Lemanskills.com

Does The Way You Feed Your Brain Influence Who You Are?

We often hear: “you are what you eat”. But not very often we reflect on how the content we are feeding our brain with makes us becoming a certain person. Depends on which sense(s) do you use the most while absorbing what is outside to build what is inside of you, the stimuli can be different and the ways of learning can be different for each of us.

But what is the most important here is that we can become what we take, consciously or unconsciously. And by having more elements in the scope of control, we have more and more influence on how we shape our mindset. You can say: “I read every day, how my mindset can be in danger?”. The point is, reading or seeing something is not the only channel that influences our brain. Let’s divide the ways of feeding our minds, so you can reflect on how you shape your reality by the content you consume every day.

The things you read

For people who consume the most of their content from using the visuals (by reading, looking at things, observing what is around them, how things work etc.), feeding the brain that way will be the best option to grow. For those people by everything they see, they shape their mindset. It’s how they learn in the fastest way possible and how they build the understanding of the world that is around them.

If you are a visual person, everything you read: books, articles, reports, documents, social media posts, comments under the YouTube videos etc.; it all has an influence on what you think, how you feel and what kind of decisions you make in your life. Does all of it has an impact on who you are and how do you feel about yourself and the world? Absolutely! Good, valuable, developmental content – regardless of what is the subject of it (business, career, relations, habits, health, spirituality – you name it) is the key to feed your brain with something that will nourish it. Not a pile of trash that contaminates your body.

How to recognize if the piece of content is feeding or contaminating your brain? Reflect on how you feel after consuming it. It’s just like with the food: you feel different after having healthy, balanced meal in compare to the fast food that you eat within the 5 or 10 minutes in between the meetings, without even sitting at the table.

Do you feel inspired, good about yourself and/or others? Do you have a new portion of energy that you can use to keep your momentum going?

Or you feel bad about yourself, angry, guilty or you lose the whole hope for this world after you read the news for instance? (There is nothing good ever come from reading the news though: did you ever feel good after reading the news? Exactly.)

The things you listen to

Same story, different medium. This category is for people who consume the most of their daily content by listening (to other people talking, podcasts, radio, recordings, music, video – but only sound of it etc.). What they hear is who they become, how they create themselves in this world. When they don’t hear anything, they don’t learn, grow or they even have troubles with a simple existence.

If you are in this bucket, check on what kind of things do you listen to on a daily basis? What kind of resources do you use to feed your listening need well? What kind of authors, storytellers? Audiobooks? Online courses?

Or do you listen to the news and commercials on the radio? Or you listen to all of those whiny people that are talking about how this world is crazy, that changes all the time, is getting worse and worse? And again: how certain pieces of content make you feel? Energized, hopeful? Or rather disengaged, without any hope for the better tomorrow for yourself?

The things you touch and experience

For some people, reading or listening to something is not the way they experience the world that is around them. They need to touch, feel, make a physical connection with a certain object, situation,  moment or other person. They don’t believe before they actually live through something or have something in their hand.

You can either have the experiences that nourish you, or not. When we think about taking the best out of the moments that are happening for us throughout the whole life, there is always something that you can take with you, even when the situation is tough. It is about treating the day without a mistake or weaker moment as a wasted day.

Do you plan your activities or they just happen TO you? Do other people decide on what you do, where you spend your time and energy on? Do you choose what kind of objects and spaces are around you: in the office, home, what kind of gym of open outdoor space you use? Do you have experiences after which you feed energized, inspired, happy, full of new possibilities? Or after what happens every day you feel dejected, sad, with no energy whatsoever? 

The people that are around you

People are interesting species. They can be happy, inspired, successful, open-minded, loving, caring and determined. At the same time they can feel angry, sad, furious, disappointed, frustrated, depressed or not-loved. Depends on what kind of convictions we have in our brain that were constructed there at the very beginning of our lives, we either have a winning or a losing script.

The winning script is a set of assumptions that we have about our life, ourselves, people and situations that are around us that support us in achieving our goals.

The losing script is a set of assumptions that we have that is a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy: that all we do brings us closer to destruction. Whatever we do, everything is going to end the way we predicted and believed in (which is negative of course).

And I put this short introduction to very complex subject here because the construction of the scripts is tightly connected with the people that were with us when we were children, but also that are with us nowadays. Even unconsciously, they can make a huge impact on how we feel (about ourselves and about what happens in our lives), what kind of decisions we make, how we spend our time or how we raise our kids.

You are too young or too old for this. You should be happy about what you have, don’t risk it with this shift. You have a good job, why should you change it for something uncertain? So what your relationship is not perfect? Other people have worse.

If you relate to one or more of those sentences above, you know how those make you feel. Do you feel empowered or invincible after talking with a person who has that kind of attitude? Do you think highly about your skills, possibilities or autonomy that you have as a human being?

I wrote about this in this article: how important it is to gather around yourself people that nourish you, not rob you from the energy that you have. That are your partners in crime, that may be challenging you, but always with the good intention, not the energy vampires that only want to take you down to their own level of misery.

How you nourish your brain by picking up the right people, for being friends with, but also mentors, business partners, team members or role models can be the most important item from the whole list. When I have a chance to choose, I always focus on choosing people that I can share what is in my head with. It is one of the most efficient ways to learn, grow, change things in this world. Even for introverted people, that prefer to use their own company for most of the time, sharing some space in life with a partner to discuss the ideas with can be groundbreaking.

The bottom line

The bottom line here is that how you feed your brain has a huge influence on who you are becoming, every day. And maybe you think that all of those things are out of your control. If yes, I would like to invite you to shift this mindset into different direction. Think about yourself like you were a master of your life. You are in control of what you do, when, with whom. You decide. And not making a decision is also a decision. Reflect on where you can nourish yourself better, what you can change to feel better at the end of each day.

The ultimate goal here is that even if they day is tough and you are tired, it was challenging and hard, after laying down on the couch you think: “it was a good day”.

Udostępnij

Komentarze

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
0 komentarzy
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

Czytaj także

Leadership

10 Ways to Get Your Time Back: Practical Tips for a Tech Leader

As a Tech Leader, your day is likely filled with endless meetings, urgent emails, project deadlines, and unexpected crises. It’s easy to feel like there’s never enough time to focus on what truly matters—whether that’s strategic thinking, team development, or even your own well-being. But here’s the good news: with a few intentional changes, you can reclaim your time and focus on what drives real impact. This isn’t about pretty theories or abstract advice. Below, you’ll find 10 practical, actionable tips that you can start implementing today to get your time back. Interested? Let’s get to it!     #1 Audit Your Calendar   Your calendar tells the story of where your time goes—and often, it’s not a pretty picture. Start by reviewing your calendar for the past two weeks. Ask yourself: Which meetings were truly necessary? Could some have been shorter? Were there meetings I didn’t need to attend at all as a leader of my team? Depends on the answers, make some shifts. Move meetings around, if you have influence on them: put them in the time of the day that you’re not in your genius zone. Use the calendar as you source of power, not a thing you are a slave of. Actionable Tip: For every recurring meeting on your calendar, apply the “zero-based budgeting” approach. Assume the meeting doesn’t need to exist unless there’s a compelling reason to keep it. For meetings you do keep, limit them to 25 or 50 minutes instead of the standard 30 or 60 minutes—this will force more focused discussions and give you breathing room between calls.   #2 Delegate Like a Pro Leader   Tech Leaders often fall into the trap of trying to do everything themselves—whether it’s troubleshooting a technical issue or reviewing every line of code. But delegation isn’t just about offloading tasks; it’s about empowering your team and creating space for you to focus on higher-level priorities. Actionable Tip: Use the “3D Framework” for tasks: Do it, Delegate it, or Delete it. If a task doesn’t absolutely require your expertise, delegate it to someone who can handle it. And if it doesn’t add value, delete it altogether. Make sure of good contracting around the delegation though: it needs to be clear, including context, checking on the skillset of the person who’s going to get the task. Be smart here; don’t assume: ask.   #3 Batch Similar Tasks Together   Switching between tasks—like coding, answering emails or Slack / Teams messages, and attending meetings—can drain your mental energy and waste time. Instead, group similar tasks together and tackle them in dedicated blocks of time. Actionable Tip: Create “themed” days or blocks of time. For example: – Monday mornings: Strategic planning – Tuesday afternoons: One-on-ones with team members – Friday mornings: Deep work on a long-term project When you batch tasks, you reduce context-switching and increase focus. Let’s say it once for good: there’s no such thing as multitasking. You can switch between tasks really quickly, but it has its cost. Reduce it, be more focused and you’ll see the difference in your efficiency and energy level as a leader.   #4 Say “No” More Often   Every time you say “yes” to something, you’re saying “no” to something else—often your own priorities. Learning to say “no”, or “yes, and…” is one of the most powerful ways to protect your time as a Tech Leader. Actionable Tip: When someone asks for your time, don’t respond immediately. Instead, say: “Let me think about it and get back to you.” This gives you space to evaluate whether the request aligns with your goals. If it doesn’t, politely decline or suggest an alternative solution.  Remember about being in OK-OK space: you don’t want to be rude or aggressive; boundary setting is not about hurting others, it’s about protecting yourself.   #5 Leverage Asynchronous Communication   Not every conversation needs to happen in real-time. In fact, asynchronous communication can save you hours each week by reducing unnecessary meetings and interruptions. Actionable Tip: Use tools like Slack, MS Teams, or Loom to communicate asynchronously. For example, instead of scheduling a meeting to discuss a project update, record a short video or write a detailed message outlining the key points and next steps. Bonus Tip: Set clear expectations for response times in asynchronous channels (i.e., “respond within 24 hours”) so everyone stays aligned without feeling pressured to reply instantly.   #6 Automate Repetitive Tasks   If you’re spending time on repetitive tasks that could be automated, you’re leaving valuable hours on the table. Automation isn’t just for developers—it’s a key productivity tool for all of us, regardless of our role in the organization. Actionable Tip: Identify one repetitive task you handle weekly (i.e., generating reports, scheduling meetings, answering emails) and automate it using tools like Zapier, IFTTT, or custom scripts. Example: Automate status updates by integrating project management tools like Jira or Trello with Slack so your team gets real-time progress updates without manual intervention.   #7 Create Decision-Making Frameworks   Decision fatigue is real—and as a tech leader, you’re probably making dozens of decisions every day. And we have a limited decision capacity: we make around 35,000 decisions daily, but less than 100 are optimal. Creating frameworks can help streamline this process and free up mental energy for more important work and more capacity for better decisions. Actionable Tip: Develop simple decision-making criteria for recurring situations. For example: Hiring decisions: Does this candidate have at least 70% of the required skills? Project prioritization: Does this initiative align with our top three business goals? Task selection: Does this task bring me closer to the OKRs I have on my list for this quarter? By standardizing decisions, you’ll spend less time deliberating and more time executing.   #8 Adopt a “Less is More” Leadership Mindset   In Tech Leadership, more isn’t always better—more features, more meetings, more initiatives can lead to diminishing returns. Focus on doing fewer things exceptionally well rather than spreading yourself too

Czytaj dalej
Leadership

Why Habits Are Better Than Goals: A Guide for Leaders

As technology leaders, we live in a world driven by deadlines, KPIs, and ambitious goals. We’re taught to set objectives and measure progress. But what if I told you that focusing on habits rather than goals might be the game-changer you’ve been looking for? Especially if you’re struggling to find time for your own professional development or noticing low engagement within your team, shifting your mindset to prioritize habits could transform not only your leadership but also your entire organization. Let’s explore why habits are more powerful than goals and how they can help you lead with greater impact. The Problem with Goals   Goals are seductive. They promise a future where everything is better: you’ve mastered a new skill, your team is more engaged, or you’ve finally achieved that elusive work-life balance. But here’s the catch: goals are outcome-focused. They emphasize the “what” rather than the “how”. For example, let’s say your goal is to improve team engagement. You might set metrics like increasing participation in meetings or boosting employee satisfaction scores. But once you hit those targets, what happens next? Without a system in place, the progress often stalls or even reverses. Goals also have an inherent flaw: they’re temporary. Once achieved, they leave a void. This is why so many of us experience the post-goal slump: a sense of “what now?” after crossing the finish line. Moreover, as busy technology leaders, goals can feel overwhelming. When your calendar is already packed with back-to-back meetings and project deadlines, adding another goal to the mix can feel like just another task on an endless to-do list.   Why Habits Are the Better Alternative?   Habits, on the other hand, focus on the process. They are small, consistent actions that compound over time to create meaningful change. Instead of chasing a distant outcome, habits anchor you in the present and guide your daily behavior. Here’s why this matters: Habits Build Identity. While goals are about achieving something external, habits shape who you are. For example, instead of setting a goal to “become a better communicator,” you could develop the habit of asking open-ended questions during one-on-one meetings. Over time, this habit reinforces your identity as a leader who listens and connects deeply with their team. Habits Are Sustainable. Unlike goals, which have an endpoint, habits are ongoing. They create a foundation for continuous improvement without requiring constant resets. A habit like setting aside 15 minutes every day for professional reading or reflection becomes part of your routine:no extra mental energy required. Habits Reduce Decision Fatigue. As a leader, you make countless decisions every day. Habits automate certain behaviors, freeing up mental bandwidth for higher-priority tasks. For instance, if you establish a habit of starting each morning by reviewing your team’s priorities, you don’t have to waste time deciding how to begin your day: it’s already decided for you. Habits Drive Engagement. When it comes to team dynamics, habits can be contagious. If you consistently model behaviors like active listening or celebrating small wins, your team is likely to adopt those practices as well. Over time, these shared habits create a culture of engagement and collaboration without requiring constant top-down interventions.     How to Build Habits That Stick?   Now that we’ve established why habits are so powerful, let’s talk about how to build them effectively. Here are some practical steps tailored for busy technology leaders: #1 Start Small One of the biggest mistakes people make is trying to change their entire routine overnight. Instead, focus on one small habit at a time. For example, if you want to prioritize professional development, commit to reading just one article or watching one TED Talk per week. Once this becomes second nature, you can build on it. #2 Anchor New Habits to Existing Routines Habits are easier to establish when they’re tied to something you already do regularly. For instance, if you want to foster better communication with your team, make it a habit to ask for feedback during your weekly check-ins. The check-in is already part of your routine; now it has an added layer of intentionality. #3 Focus on Systems, Not Outcomes Instead of obsessing over results, concentrate on creating systems that support your desired behavior. For example, if you want to encourage innovation within your team, implement a habit of dedicating 10 minutes at the end of each meeting for brainstorming new ideas. #4 Track Progress and Celebrate Small Wins While habits don’t rely on external validation like goals do, tracking your progress can still be motivating. Use apps or simple checklists to monitor consistency and celebrate milestones along the way. #5 Be Patient and Consistent Habits take time to form: research suggests anywhere from 21 days to several months depending on the complexity of the behavior. Don’t be discouraged by setbacks. Focus on consistency over perfection.   The Ripple Effect of Habits in Leadership   When you embrace habits as a leader, the benefits extend far beyond your personal growth: they ripple out to your entire team and organization. Here are some examples: Improved Team Engagement. By modeling habits like regular recognition or transparent communication, you create an environment where team members feel valued and motivated. Greater Innovation. Small habits like encouraging questions or dedicating time for creative thinking can spark breakthroughs that drive your projects forward. Stronger Relationships. Consistent habits like active listening or showing empathy build trust and strengthen connections with both colleagues and stakeholders. Most importantly, focusing on habits helps you lead by example. It shows your team that growth isn’t about chasing lofty goals but about showing up every day with intention and purpose.   A Challenge for You!   As you reflect on this article, I want to leave you with a simple challenge: choose one habit that aligns with your leadership vision and commit to practicing it consistently for the next 30 days. It could be as simple as starting each day with five minutes of mindfulness or ending each meeting

Czytaj dalej
Leadership

Communication Intelligence (CQ): A Key to the Effective Leadership

In the ever-evolving landscape of work, where collaboration and innovation are necessary to survive on the demanding market, one skill stands out as a game-changer: Communication Intelligence (CQ). As a tech leadership expert and someone deeply invested in helping leaders and teams create environments where people thrive, I cannot stress enough the importance of mastering CQ. It’s not just about talking or listening; it’s about understanding, tailoring, and connecting. Let’s dive into what CQ is, why it matters, and how we can build this skill: both as leaders and team members.   What Is Communication Intelligence (CQ)?   At its core, Communication Intelligence (CQ) is the ability to adapt your communication style to connect effectively with others. It’s about being aware of your own communication tendencies while recognizing and responding to the diverse preferences of those around you. Think of it as emotional intelligence (EQ) but focused specifically on how we exchange information, ideas, and emotions. CQ involves empathy, adaptability, and clarity. It’s not just about what you say but how you say it—and how it’s received. Mastering CQ means being intentional in your interactions and ensuring that your message resonates with the person or people on the other side.   Why Is CQ Essential for Leaders and Team Members?   In my work with leaders and teams, I often see how miscommunication can ruin even the best intentions. A lack of CQ can lead to misunderstandings, conflict, and disengagement. On the flip side, strong CQ fosters trust, collaboration, and alignment: key ingredients for both thriving teams and great business results. Here’s why CQ is crucial: #1 For Leaders: they set the tone for communication within their teams. If a leader lacks CQ, they risk alienating team members, failing to inspire, or unintentionally creating a culture of fear or confusion. Leaders with high CQ can tailor their messages to motivate diverse individuals, navigate difficult conversations with grace, and build an environment where everyone feels heard and valued.   #2 For Team Members: in a team setting, CQ helps individuals collaborate more effectively. When team members understand each other’s communication styles, they can avoid unnecessary friction and build stronger relationships. High CQ also empowers individuals to voice their ideas in ways that resonate with others, fostering innovation and mutual respect. Understanding what high CQ looks like (and what it doesn’t) is key to developing this skill. Let’s explore some examples and anti-examples.   Examples of High CQ Behaviors: – active listening: truly hearing what someone is saying without interrupting or jumping to conclusions to soon, – tailoring messaging: adapting your tone, language, or delivery based on the audience. For instance, explaining a technical concept in simple terms for a non-technical stakeholder, – understanding in action: acknowledging someone’s emotions and needs before moving to problem-solving. For example, saying, “I can see this situation has been frustrating for you” before diving into solutions, – clarity in feedback: providing constructive feedback that is specific, actionable, and framed positively. And what’s even more: giving people space to take it in and make a decision what they want to do with it (take or discard), – proactive negative conflict resolution: addressing misunderstandings early rather than letting them grow and eat people alive. And remembering that not all conflicts are bad (actually a fear of conflict is one of the 5 Dysfunctions Of The Team by Patrick Lencioni).   Anti-Examples of Low CQ Behaviors: – interrupting or talking over others: this signals a lack of respect and can shut down meaningful dialogue. It also means that you don’t care about the other person, or anything they say or think, – one-size-fits-all communication: using the same approach for everyone without considering individual preferences or needs. There’s only 17% of chances that the person next to you prefers your communication base. That’s why listening and tailoring is so important: to get the stakes higher than that, – ignoring non-verbal cues: overlooking body language or tone that suggests someone is uncomfortable or disengaged. We have 4 things we can observe: mimics, ton of voice, gestures and posture. Ignoring those non-verbal imformation is going to cost us a lot, – defensiveness in feedback: reacting negatively when receiving constructive criticism instead of seeking to understand, ask more questions, be curious about what the other person wants to say to me, – avoiding difficult conversations: failing to address issues directly, leading to confusion or resentment. And the further it goes, the worse it becomes: it’s really difficiult to stop the huge snowball. So what we can do to avoid those anti-examples?   Use PCM to Build it!   One of the most effective tools I use when working with leaders and teams on CQ is the Process Communication Model (PCM). PCM provides a framework for understanding different personality types and their communication preferences. It’s like having a map that helps you navigate the complexities of human interaction. So why PCM is a good idea to support buildling a high CQ level? It gives you bigger self-awareness: start by identifying your own dominant personality type. This helps you understand your natural communication style and potential blind spots. With whom it’s super easy to go with and when it will be a bigger challenge. It equips you with higher ability of observation: pay attention to the verbal and non-verbal cues of others to identify their preferred communication style. For example: – A Thinker might appreciate detailed agendas and logical arguments. – A Harmonizer may respond better to warmth and emotional connection. It gives you a reason to adapt more: tailor your communication to match the other person’s style. If you’re a Promoter speaking with an Imaginer, slow down and give them time to process rather than pushing for immediate action. It shows you how to practice under stress: PCM also teaches us how stress impacts communication. For instance, under stress, a Thinker might become overly critical, while a Rebel might resort to sarcasm and manipulation. Recognizing these patterns helps us respond constructively rather than

Czytaj dalej
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x