5 things to do when you feel demotivated

Self-Development

We all know that. Today is not the day. Too much work, not enough time, too rainy to go outside, too tired to pick up any activity, or just feeling demotivated. And all of the sudden, we realize that several weeks or months passed, and we didn’t do anything. For ourselves, our relations, our health, or our development. All of our beautiful plans and wish lists are buried deep somewhere in a drawer waiting for a better tomorrow.

It is not possible to be super effective, active and positive all the time. Even the most positive and ambitious people have those days when they just want to stay home and be a human burrito. And that’s perfectly fine. But when it is becoming more frequent or appearing regularly, I would encourage you to take a closer look to find out what is going on under the surface.

Here are my personal 5 things that I do when feeling demotivated or having lower level of energy.

1. Find the source of you being demotivated.

Every single thought, emotion, reaction or belief has its root. There are many possibilities that you feel or think in a certain way and all of them are very individual. They are connected to our history, experiences from the past (professional and personal ones), beliefs about ourselves and the world that we gained mostly in our early childhood (most of them until the age of 6) listening to our parents or other people who were raising us and other children. Basically all the people who were some kinds of authority for us at the time or we did seek for their attention, love or acceptance.

From my experience, we remember the best and we have the easiest access to bad beliefs.

Not smart enough.

Not pretty enough.

Not fast enough.

Not thin enough.

Not having the best grades.

Not good enough (meaning nice, not causing any trouble).

(name yours, there are mostly unconscious before we start to think and name them).

And all of those beliefs that we gained in our lives, have an influence on what kind of thoughts we have as adults. And it is connected to what do we think about ourselves and the world that is around us.

Of course the beliefs are just one factor of us being demotivated but as far as I’m concerned, it is the strongest one – I would risk the hypothesis that those beliefs are responsible for 80% of our lower moments. So I encourage you to have a piece of paper (or a Word document) and ask yourself those questions to find the source of your demotivation:

What I think about myself right now? Am I good enough? Smart enough? Thin enough? Successful enough? Answer yes or no on each of those questions. Check how many of each answers do you have.
What am I worried about? Make a list, be as specific as you can.
What have I eaten for the last 3 days? Try to recall as many meals, snacks as you can (including drinks, alcohol, coffee)
How many hours of sleep did I get for the last 7 days? You don’t need to be specific, use the average number (to find out if it is closer to 4 or 8 hours)
Did my last 7 days had a structure, certain plan with repetitive elements (i.e. morning routines) or have I just lived them with no specific plan?
How many meaningful social interactions did I have for the last 7 days? (it can be at work, at home, at the gym, with your friends, family, coworkers etc.)
How many hours of sports activity did I have for the last 7 days? (you can count actual training sessions but also walks, harder cleaning of the apartment etc.)

2. Fill out the Influence Matrix.

Once you have all the answers on the question above, you can check their position in the Influence Matrix that I’ve created. This is a simple tool that you can use every time when you are stuck, you feel over worried or tired and you don’t know what to do. The matrix will help you to see in a clearer way the connections between having/not having an influence on a certain situation and its importance at the moment. It might seem similar to Eisenhower Matrix but this one uses different variables and its main goal is psychological support, rather than efficiency itself.

Here is the Influence Matrix that you can use to put those elements that you discovered in the previous section.

You can draw matrix on your own or you can use ready PDF file that you can download:

Influence-Matrix Pobierz

Example 1: let’s say you’ve discovered that you worry about high inflation rate. Is it important? Yes. Do you have any influence on that? No, literally zero influence. So you put it in the upper-left quadrant. Then, you need to decide what can you do to reduce the high stress level that is connected to the high inflation rate. Maybe you can check on your home budget i.e. by using an easy excel spreadsheet to see how do you spend your money monthly? Based on that you can temporarily quit on some costs, so you have more financial freedom, and you are less stressed at the end of the day.

Example 2: let’s say you discovered that you did 0 hours of sports activity last week. Is it important? Yes. Do you have any influence on that? Yes. So you put it in the upper-right quadrant. Then, you need to decide what to do to be more active. Pick one thing at the time, i.e. 15-minute walk after lunch every day. If the weather is bad, play a 15-minute workout on YouTube. No excuses!

3. Choose one thing that you have influence on and pick it up right away.

I am a huge advocate of small things. Baby steps. I know from my own experience and from experience of those many people I’ve worked with through the years that we need ambitious goals to achieve extraordinary things. But we also need a simple plan, achievable steps that will keep our internal motivation level high, so we don’t feel exhausted or frustrated that we don’t see effects right away.

That’s why I encourage you to pick one thing at the time. When that one becomes a habit, you can add another one, and then another. Seeing quick results will show your brain that the change is possible and worth the effort.

Choose one thing from your list and pick it up right away. Not tomorrow. Not on Monday. Not January 1st. Right away. Research shows that if we wait for a ‘magical’ moment (like January 1st, for example), it is less probable that we are going to achieve it since it is only ‘a power of this magical moment’. Not very helpful, especially from a long-term perspective.

4. Glue things together to feel less demotivated.

There is an amazing book about building habits: ‘The Power of Habit’ by Charles Duhigg. He writes very specifically about building new habits really closely to the existing ones. This is easier to our brain to glue habits together to keep them stronger and more durable over the time.

Do you want to use dental floss every day? Do it right after you clean your teeth in the evening.

Do you want to meditate regularly? Do it right after your workout (if you already have a habit of working out regularly).

Do want to read more? Prepare a book on your nightstand and right after your alarm rings, sit on your bed and read for 5 minutes (or more, depends on what you need at the moment) before you start your day.

Believe me, sticking habits together will allow you to feel more energized, motivated and satisfied – even if that’s just 5 minutes of reading. It is a start.

5. Check your introvert/extravert energy level.

I learned lately that I need to check my introvert/extravert energy level when I am mapping what is going on with my motivation, vitality and rather positive attitude. Since it influences my efficiency, effectiveness and how I achieve any goal I set up for myself, on personal or professional level, it became an interesting aspect I’ve decided to take a closer look at.

Most of us are somewhere in between the introvert/extravert scale – you can check yourself on the scale below. Where do you think you are right now?

I am an ambivert with a tendency to move into extrovert side. The more extraverted we are, the more energy from the outside of ourselves we need to feel good. From other people at work, our friends, family, people from our community – basically it is all about human energy from the other person. Extraverts also can get their energy from other social situations, i.e. just being on the concert or on a sports event (without talking to anybody) is quite often enough to boost the body and mind. It is all about the energy itself at the end.

The more introverted we are, the more energy we have from the inside of our body and minds. Often, introverts are highly sensitive people, so they need more silence and time alone to feel energetic. And we all need being alone for a bit from time to time. Some of us less, some of us more. But being an extrovert doesn’t mean that we need to be with people all the time.

So when you feel less energetic than usually, check your introvert/extravert energy level. Maybe you are closer to the right-hand side, and you are not leaving your home a lot lately? And maybe you are closer to the left-hand side, and you are pushed to be in a crowd a lot? It can be an important information that will help you decide what to do next to get your energy back.

The bottom line

The bottom line here is that we all have good and bad moments and that’s perfectly fine. I encourage you to think about those elements that have the biggest influence on you: your thoughts, beliefs, habits, people around you (they can be demotivating as well), goals, possibilities or constraints that you have at the moment. Take a closer look on them, decide what really matters and has the biggest influence on yourself and what is totally useless, and it is time to let it go. Choose wisely and be better every single day.

Udostępnij

Komentarze

0 0 votes

Article Rating

0 komentarzy

Oldest

Newest Most Voted

Inline Feedbacks

View all comments

Czytaj także

Self-Development

4 Things I’ve Learned About Looking For a Community

You know what they say: It’s always lonely on the top. Whatever the “top” means. Being in the board or executive team in the organization, a founder or co-founder of a startup, entrepreneur in overall. Being a top athlete, art creator, innovator of any kind. Visionary that no one really understand because their brain works in the modalities that are not available to most of the people. There are even books, articles, podcast episodes that are saying that there’s a cost of being “on the top”: Loneliness and alone, hard journey. But you know what? The last years of being an entrepreneur showed me that it’s bullshit. You don’t need to be alone, and I’ll go even further: You can’t be. Because it’s extremely hard to juggle all those hats and tasks we have on our lists to do it all on our own. Community can be the answer. That’s why I’ve decided to start looking for people who can be with me on this journey. Here’s what I’ve discovered so far (because it’s still an unfinished project) that I believe can be helpful for you in hunting for a great community for yourself. #1 Your family and friends usually aren’t the best option If you have around you people who are your cheerleaders, they support you in your work-related decisions that’s great. Not a common thing, though: I am familiar with many experiences (my own and different people I worked with or be friends with in the past) that have quite the opposite ones. Here are few examples (quite nice one, since I know also more aggressive options): “You should be happy about what you have, why you need to change something?” “If you risk, you can lose what you’ve already have.” “Maybe it’s not the best idea, stay where you are and enjoy it.” “You’ve never done something like this before.” If we think about it deeper, most of the time people don’t’ have bad intentions while saying that kind of things. They mean to protect us, reduce the risk of the failure, disappointment, loss. The truth is that most of those behaviours have a root cause in their own insecurities, fear and bad experiences from the past. Or sometimes unconscious jealousy: Because they’ve always wanted to do something like that, but they’ve never had enough courage or skills to do so. That’s why quite often people that are the closest to us are not the best when it comes to our community. The only exception I see is that they are also experts in our field and they are extremely flexible when it comes to changing the hat that they’re wearing at the certain moment. Then they can be our spouse in one moment, and the other entrepreneur in the next one. But let’s be honest here: That’s a rare situation. And it’s not about that they are bad people. They really aren’t. But we don’t need the second thoughts in our brains (more that we already have on our own). We don’t need second guessing our decisions, giving our brain more holes of fear to go into. I’ve heard years ago this, and I stick to it ever since: “I don’t take business advice from people who never ran a business. I don’t take parental advice from people who don’t have kids. I don’t take relationship advice from people who can’t build a healthy relationship.” Finding a community outside of your closest circle can be so much better for you, and for your friends & family as well. #2 Looking for community is not a weakness. It’s a strength. For a very long time in my life, I had a strong belief that I need to do everything on my own. That I need to be strong, look for answers on my own, even if it takes a lot of time and effort. It was a pattern that I’ve got in my childhood, and it helped me in many situations, but in my middle 30s is not as useful as before anymore. We all have patterns in our brains. Most of them are unconscious, printed in our wiring since we were kids. They were mechanisms that supposed to be the best solution to be worthy of love and attention of our caregivers. They answered the question: “Who do I need to be / How should I behave to “be worthy” of those who I crave the most?” And I remember that situation from my childhood where I asked a question about something and I’ve got and answer: “Go and find it in the book on your own”. It doesn’t look angry or hurtful, but it put a seed in the small person’s brain that’s saying: You can’t reach out for help, you need to do everything on your own. Sounds familiar? That’s why so many people are struggling with looking for a person, group of people or a bigger community that consists of like-minded people because they still have those beliefs that are not serving them anymore. There was a copying mechanism for a child we are not as adults. I know for me it was a journey and a healing process to go through, so my brain rewires into a new belief. There’s nothing wrong with reaching for support. I’ll go even further again: It’s a sign of strength, wisdom and an ability to use one’s resources the best possible way. Because from the rational and logical perspective we do know that if I ask somebody for something, there’s a bigger chance that I’ll resolve my problem faster. 80% of the problems I had in my past somebody else already experienced or they know somebody who did! So why wasting time and energy that we can reinvest in something else that creates more value? #3 Put yourself in the rooms where there are people who have what you want to have A couple of years

Czytaj dalej

7 June 2025 No Comments

Leadership

Building a Product-Centered Organization: The Power Skills Leaders Need to Succeed

In the tech world, it’s easy to get caught up in the latest innovations, algorithms, or cutting-edge frameworks. As leaders, we often pride ourselves on our deep technical expertise. However, even the most advanced technology can’t save an organization if it’s not aligned around the product—a product that solves real customer problems, delivers value, and drives the company’s success. Yet, many leaders struggle to build a product-centered organization. Why? Because it requires more than technical know-how. It demands a set of “power skills”—social skills like communication, problem solving or collaboration—that many tech leaders have not prioritized in their own development. These skills are the foundation of Communication Intelligence (CQ), which is essential for creating an environment where people thrive and want to stay longer in their careers. So, how do we build a product-centered organization? Why is product focus so critical? And what do we, as leaders, need to do to make it happen? Let’s dive in into that today. Why Product is the Heart of Your Organization? At its core, every company exists to deliver value. Whether you’re building software, hardware, or services, your product is the vehicle that delivers that value to customers. A strong product focus ensures that every team, from engineering to marketing to customer support, is aligned with the same goal: creating something that solves real problems and delights users. When organizations lose sight of the product, chaos happens. Teams become siloed, with each department prioritizing its own metrics and goals instead of working together toward a shared vision. Engineers might focus on writing code without considering user needs. Marketing and sales teams might overpromise features that don’t exist. Customer support might be left out of the loop entirely, unable to provide meaningful feedback to improve the product. The result? A fractured organization that frustrates employees and customers alike. Without a clear product focus, employees lose motivation because they don’t see how their work contributes to the bigger picture. Customers churn because their needs aren’t being met. And ultimately, the company’s bottom line suffers. Sounds familiar? Anyone ever experienced that kind of reality? The Leadership Role in Building a Product-Centered Organization As leaders, it’s our job to create an environment where teams are aligned around the product and empowered to deliver their best work. But this doesn’t happen by accident. It requires intentional effort and a specific set of leadership skills—skills that go beyond technical expertise. I know that for some of you it’s way out of your comfort zone, but growing those skills is a must, not a luxury. IF you want to be a leader that people don’t hate. The choice is always yours. #1 Communication Intelligence (CQ) At the heart of a product-centered organization is strong communication. Leaders with high CQ understand how to communicate clearly and efficiently across teams, breaking down silos and ensuring everyone is aligned. The understanding the bigger picture is crucial for people to work together, focused on what is important and bringing us all closer to achieving our goals. High CQ leaders: – Actively listen to feedback from all levels of the organization. – Communicate the “why” behind decisions so teams understand their purpose. – Create a real space for the open dialogue so employees feel comfortable sharing ideas, discussing bottlenecks and solutions to the problems that appear. #2 Visionary Thinking A product-centered organization starts with a clear vision. The product should make a real change and solve a real problem that bothers clients. As a leader, you need to articulate what success looks like for your product and inspire your teams to go with that vision. This means being able to zoom out and see the big picture while also understanding the details that drive execution. #3 Cross-Functional Collaboration No single team owns the product—it’s a collective effort. Leaders must break down silos and encourage collaboration across engineering, design, marketing, sales, and customer support. This requires building bridges between teams and fostering a culture of mutual respect and shared responsibility. A great solution to implement when there are any issues with collaboration between certain teams is to shift their leaders for a while. For example, sales and marketing team is not working together very well (common issue). So, a marketing lead becomes a sales lead for a month and the other way around. That way they get to know exactly what those teams are dealing with daily and thanks to that starting building bridges, instead of fighting each other. It’s one of the ideas of Ben Horowitz and I personally love it. #4 Understanding for Customers and Employees The ability to understand what people need and why they behave in a certain way is a superpower for any leader. To build a great product, you need to deeply understand your customers’ pain points and aspirations. But empathy doesn’t stop with customers—it extends to your employees as well. By understanding their challenges and motivations, you can create an environment where they feel supported and engaged. You know what I see often? Great tech people are designing amazing products and solutions. But then nobody buys it. And they are so surprised, frustrated and they blame everyone around them. But the truth is: You don’t design the product for yourself. You create it for people who have a certain problem to solve. That’s why you need to focus on their needs and voices more. Listen better, ask questions to understand what is underneath the surface. Go to your team and discuss it, brainstorm together so you generate the best possible solutions and start building a MVP for that. Iterate, don’t overinvest time, focus and money into a monster that can be something completely out of the interest zone of potential customers. It might sounds difficult, but over time it becomes easier and easier. You can do it. Addressing Bottlenecks in Your Organization Even with strong leadership skills, building a product-centered organization isn’t without

Czytaj dalej

4 May 2025 No Comments

Leadership

5 Tips for Entry-Level Tech Leaders to Avoid Common Mistakes

Stepping into a leadership role in the tech space might be both, an exciting and daunting experience. As an entry-level tech leader, you not only have to manage projects and technical challenges but also guide your team, lead collaboration, and make strategic decisions. The transition from Subject Matter Expert to a leader can be tricky, but with the right mindset and strategies, you can set yourself (and your team) up for success. Here are five practical tips to help you navigate the early stages of your leadership journey and avoid common mistakes, so you don’t get discouraged before things start to get going properly. #1 Embrace the Shift from “Doer” to “Enabler” One of the most significant challenges for new tech leaders is letting go of the “hands-on” work they were so good at as individual contributors. Sounds familiar? Leadership is not about doing all the work yourself but enabling your team to succeed. You like it or not, this shift in mindset is crucial, so you really can start doing what the leader’s role is really about. The biggest mistake here? Micromanaging or taking over tasks because you believe you can do them faster or better. Of course you do! You’ve been doing those things for months, sometimes for years, so obviously it’s in your genius zone. But by accepting the leadership position you also accepted saying goodbye to those tasks to say hello to the new ones. You can’t have both. What you can do here? – Delegate Effectively: Identify the strengths of your team members and assign tasks accordingly. Trust them to deliver, and provide guidance only when needed. Share your knowledge and experience (if you have it), unlock bottlenecks so they can deliver work efficiently. That’s your role and effective delegation skills are essential for your success. – Focus on Outcomes, Not Processes: Instead of obsessing over how something is done, set clear expectations for the results and let your team figure out the “how.” Your how can be completely different than theirs, but it the outcome is delivered… It’s all that matters. I know that it hurts but if you are the smartest person in the room, you need to change the room. – Use tools like Trello or Asana to track progress without checking or controlling every single detail. If you can’t trust them, they won’t trust you. And this is the first step to going deep down in the rabbit hole of lack of engagement, efficiency and misery. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be a leader that builds that kind of environment for myself and my people. #2 Build Culture of Open Communication As a new leader, earning the trust of your team is essential. Without trust, collaboration suffers, and your ability to lead effectively diminishes. Open communication is the foundation of that trust, you like it or not. The biggest mistake here? Assuming that people automatically will come to you with problems. Mutual respect is to build, it doesn’t come with the leadership role itself. What you can do here? – Be Transparent: Share the goals, direction and decision-making processes with your team. This helps them understand your priorities and align with them, and if they not, you can discuss it using data, not assumptions. – Schedule Regular 1:1s: Invest time to check in with each team member individually. Use this time to listen actively, provide feedback, and address concerns, if they occur. Make sure that both of you use the time you have, not for the monologue from your side. – Create a Contracted Space: Make contract with your team on the rules around team meetings, retrospective and innovation brainstorms. Make sure that you really walk the walk the rule of permission for making mistakes. You can even say, “Mistakes are opportunities to learn—let’s solve this together.” #3 Prioritize Learning and Adaptability Technology evolves rapidly, and so do the challenges of leadership. Being open to learning—both technical skills and leadership strategies—is key to staying effective and efficient. One doesn’t exist without another, and it’s about the time to make your peace with that statement. The biggest mistake here? Believing you need to have all the answers or pretending to know everything. What you can do here? – Adopt a Growth Mindset: Treat every challenge as an opportunity to grow. If you’re unsure about something, admit it and commit to finding the answer. Come back to the team with a solution you can all discuss and learn around. Perfection doesn’t exist, only really insecure people will tell you otherwise. Building a Growth Mindset is a real thing, focusing on that will bring you a lot of benefits (professional and private ones). – Seek Mentorship: Connect with leaders more experienced than you, in your organization or outside of it. Ask questions about their leadership journey and learn from their successes and failures. You don’t need to listen to every piece of advice you’ll get from them, but choose what’s applicable to your case and move on faster. – Invest in Learning Resources: Read books on leadership, listen to podcasts, attend workshops, or take online courses. Whatever your learning preferences are, you can invest your time in being 1% better every single day. Even if it’s just 5 minutes. #4 Set Clear Goals and Align Your Team Without clear goals, even the most talented team can lose focus. As a leader, it’s your job to define priorities and ensure everyone is rowing in the same direction. The biggest mistake here? Overloading the team with too many objectives or failing to communicate priorities effectively. What you can do here? – Use OKRs. Objectives and Key Results is one of my favorite method to boost the efficiency and effectiveness of a person, team and organization. Why? Because it’s not telling us “read 3 books”, it’s not a real goal. It answers the question: “SO WHAT?” you’ve read those

Czytaj dalej

13 April 2025 No Comments