5 things to do when you feel demotivated

Self-Development

We all know that. Today is not the day. Too much work, not enough time, too rainy to go outside, too tired to pick up any activity, or just feeling demotivated. And all of the sudden, we realize that several weeks or months passed, and we didn’t do anything. For ourselves, our relations, our health, or our development. All of our beautiful plans and wish lists are buried deep somewhere in a drawer waiting for a better tomorrow.

It is not possible to be super effective, active and positive all the time. Even the most positive and ambitious people have those days when they just want to stay home and be a human burrito. And that’s perfectly fine. But when it is becoming more frequent or appearing regularly, I would encourage you to take a closer look to find out what is going on under the surface.

Here are my personal 5 things that I do when feeling demotivated or having lower level of energy.

1. Find the source of you being demotivated.

Every single thought, emotion, reaction or belief has its root. There are many possibilities that you feel or think in a certain way and all of them are very individual. They are connected to our history, experiences from the past (professional and personal ones), beliefs about ourselves and the world that we gained mostly in our early childhood (most of them until the age of 6) listening to our parents or other people who were raising us and other children. Basically all the people who were some kinds of authority for us at the time or we did seek for their attention, love or acceptance.

From my experience, we remember the best and we have the easiest access to bad beliefs.

Not smart enough.

Not pretty enough.

Not fast enough.

Not thin enough.

Not having the best grades.

Not good enough (meaning nice, not causing any trouble).

(name yours, there are mostly unconscious before we start to think and name them).

And all of those beliefs that we gained in our lives, have an influence on what kind of thoughts we have as adults. And it is connected to what do we think about ourselves and the world that is around us.

Of course the beliefs are just one factor of us being demotivated but as far as I’m concerned, it is the strongest one – I would risk the hypothesis that those beliefs are responsible for 80% of our lower moments. So I encourage you to have a piece of paper (or a Word document) and ask yourself those questions to find the source of your demotivation:

What I think about myself right now? Am I good enough? Smart enough? Thin enough? Successful enough? Answer yes or no on each of those questions. Check how many of each answers do you have.
What am I worried about? Make a list, be as specific as you can.
What have I eaten for the last 3 days? Try to recall as many meals, snacks as you can (including drinks, alcohol, coffee)
How many hours of sleep did I get for the last 7 days? You don’t need to be specific, use the average number (to find out if it is closer to 4 or 8 hours)
Did my last 7 days had a structure, certain plan with repetitive elements (i.e. morning routines) or have I just lived them with no specific plan?
How many meaningful social interactions did I have for the last 7 days? (it can be at work, at home, at the gym, with your friends, family, coworkers etc.)
How many hours of sports activity did I have for the last 7 days? (you can count actual training sessions but also walks, harder cleaning of the apartment etc.)

2. Fill out the Influence Matrix.

Once you have all the answers on the question above, you can check their position in the Influence Matrix that I’ve created. This is a simple tool that you can use every time when you are stuck, you feel over worried or tired and you don’t know what to do. The matrix will help you to see in a clearer way the connections between having/not having an influence on a certain situation and its importance at the moment. It might seem similar to Eisenhower Matrix but this one uses different variables and its main goal is psychological support, rather than efficiency itself.

Here is the Influence Matrix that you can use to put those elements that you discovered in the previous section.

You can draw matrix on your own or you can use ready PDF file that you can download:

Influence-Matrix Pobierz

Example 1: let’s say you’ve discovered that you worry about high inflation rate. Is it important? Yes. Do you have any influence on that? No, literally zero influence. So you put it in the upper-left quadrant. Then, you need to decide what can you do to reduce the high stress level that is connected to the high inflation rate. Maybe you can check on your home budget i.e. by using an easy excel spreadsheet to see how do you spend your money monthly? Based on that you can temporarily quit on some costs, so you have more financial freedom, and you are less stressed at the end of the day.

Example 2: let’s say you discovered that you did 0 hours of sports activity last week. Is it important? Yes. Do you have any influence on that? Yes. So you put it in the upper-right quadrant. Then, you need to decide what to do to be more active. Pick one thing at the time, i.e. 15-minute walk after lunch every day. If the weather is bad, play a 15-minute workout on YouTube. No excuses!

3. Choose one thing that you have influence on and pick it up right away.

I am a huge advocate of small things. Baby steps. I know from my own experience and from experience of those many people I’ve worked with through the years that we need ambitious goals to achieve extraordinary things. But we also need a simple plan, achievable steps that will keep our internal motivation level high, so we don’t feel exhausted or frustrated that we don’t see effects right away.

That’s why I encourage you to pick one thing at the time. When that one becomes a habit, you can add another one, and then another. Seeing quick results will show your brain that the change is possible and worth the effort.

Choose one thing from your list and pick it up right away. Not tomorrow. Not on Monday. Not January 1st. Right away. Research shows that if we wait for a ‘magical’ moment (like January 1st, for example), it is less probable that we are going to achieve it since it is only ‘a power of this magical moment’. Not very helpful, especially from a long-term perspective.

4. Glue things together to feel less demotivated.

There is an amazing book about building habits: ‘The Power of Habit’ by Charles Duhigg. He writes very specifically about building new habits really closely to the existing ones. This is easier to our brain to glue habits together to keep them stronger and more durable over the time.

Do you want to use dental floss every day? Do it right after you clean your teeth in the evening.

Do you want to meditate regularly? Do it right after your workout (if you already have a habit of working out regularly).

Do want to read more? Prepare a book on your nightstand and right after your alarm rings, sit on your bed and read for 5 minutes (or more, depends on what you need at the moment) before you start your day.

Believe me, sticking habits together will allow you to feel more energized, motivated and satisfied – even if that’s just 5 minutes of reading. It is a start.

5. Check your introvert/extravert energy level.

I learned lately that I need to check my introvert/extravert energy level when I am mapping what is going on with my motivation, vitality and rather positive attitude. Since it influences my efficiency, effectiveness and how I achieve any goal I set up for myself, on personal or professional level, it became an interesting aspect I’ve decided to take a closer look at.

Most of us are somewhere in between the introvert/extravert scale – you can check yourself on the scale below. Where do you think you are right now?

I am an ambivert with a tendency to move into extrovert side. The more extraverted we are, the more energy from the outside of ourselves we need to feel good. From other people at work, our friends, family, people from our community – basically it is all about human energy from the other person. Extraverts also can get their energy from other social situations, i.e. just being on the concert or on a sports event (without talking to anybody) is quite often enough to boost the body and mind. It is all about the energy itself at the end.

The more introverted we are, the more energy we have from the inside of our body and minds. Often, introverts are highly sensitive people, so they need more silence and time alone to feel energetic. And we all need being alone for a bit from time to time. Some of us less, some of us more. But being an extrovert doesn’t mean that we need to be with people all the time.

So when you feel less energetic than usually, check your introvert/extravert energy level. Maybe you are closer to the right-hand side, and you are not leaving your home a lot lately? And maybe you are closer to the left-hand side, and you are pushed to be in a crowd a lot? It can be an important information that will help you decide what to do next to get your energy back.

The bottom line

The bottom line here is that we all have good and bad moments and that’s perfectly fine. I encourage you to think about those elements that have the biggest influence on you: your thoughts, beliefs, habits, people around you (they can be demotivating as well), goals, possibilities or constraints that you have at the moment. Take a closer look on them, decide what really matters and has the biggest influence on yourself and what is totally useless, and it is time to let it go. Choose wisely and be better every single day.

Udostępnij

Komentarze

0 0 votes

Article Rating

0 komentarzy

Oldest

Newest Most Voted

Inline Feedbacks

View all comments

Czytaj także

Leadership

Why So Many Tech Leaders Don’t Listen?

Communication Intelligence is always first about understanding what we do. And there’s one skill in there that a lot of Tech Leaders are not treating with respect. Not a lot of them focus on that one, and it costs a lot. I’m talking about the listening skills. When I was doing the research for the book that I’m going release soon, I was thinking about different angles of CQ. All of the algorithms that people are using consciously or mostly unconsciously when communicating with other people, especially when being leaders. And there are so many courses, books, podcast episodes, articles, YouTube videos, and TED Talks about speaking, public speaking, or speaking to others. But it dawned on me that there are not a lot of courses and other sources of knowledge about listening. And I’ve started to wonder why that is. I think it is because we think that listening is so easy. You just need to sit and listen, right? Nothing further from the truth. To make a little mindset and skillset shift in this area, today I’ve decided to give you 4 types of listening and some active listening tools and techniques for tech leaders. Let’s dig in! 4 Types of Listening There are 4 types of listening that tell us more about our intrinsic, mostly unconscious motivations: Why do we even go into the conversation with other people? Listen to reply. This is what most of the people do. We listen only to make a moment for ourselves to tell something. We are not listening for other reasons. And if we have this habit of not interrupting, we just cannot wait to jump in and say something. Most of the time, for us is to share information. So, saying what we know, what we have in our brains. We are not there to do anything more than reply. Listen to understand. In this type, people paraphrase, they ask additional questions; they can tell something like: “OK, this is interesting; tell me more.” They can say something with their own words, like: “OK, so I understand from what you’re saying that… Is that correct?” It is to understand, without guessing. Listen to connect. When people want to connect with us, they go deeper. They talk about something important for them, and they share reflections, opinions, values, thoughts, or emotions. They want to connect and find something meaningful for both sides. So, they ask more, they are more attentive, they’re curious about the other person, with an intention to build a relationship (regardless of the context). Listen to co-create. I’m listening to you to create something together, to make some value, to create a solution, to solve a problem, to create a functionality together, or to make a change. We are co-creating something, building a thing that can be valuable or useful for other people. So, I’m listening to what you’re saying, you’re listening to what I’m saying, and we make the synergy from those two things to create something together. Statistically, most people are listening only to reply. Secondly, they listen to understand. Then they listen to connect with some, and very few listen to co-create. The question is: Why is it happening in that order? From my observations and experiences with different leaders, teams, and organizations, it happens because of the way we work and the pressure we have (external and internal). So, my advice for you here is to just reflect on what you do. Next time, when you are going to have a conversation with somebody, just be more aware of how you respond to them and what you’re doing. What do you have in your brain? What is your priority for the conversation? What is the goal of the conversation? It can be private, and it can be professional (maybe private even is going to be more insightful). If you’re only talking, talking, talking, talking to vomit information on the other… Make a pause and observe: “Hey, I’m doing it. How can I be in a different bucket, more curious about the other person, more attentive to what they’re saying, more observant of them?”. Start with that small step, notice the difference. And how to do it? Here’s a list of simple techniques to strengthen your listening leadership muscle. Active Listening Techniques for Tech Leaders #1 Paraphrasing It’s literally repeating what the other person said with a few different words. It’s the simplest tool to check if you got what was told, not assuming that you did. You can start with: “What I’m hearing is…” or “From what you say, I understand that…”. Facts, not opinions. Even if you are a Base Persister, you need to stick to the information without using much of your own frame of reference. Paraphrasing is for you to confirm understanding and de-escalate any misunderstandings that can appear during the conversation. #2 Asking open-ended questions This is the one that a lot of people struggle with. What I observed over the years of working with people from different cultures, it differs from culture to culture. Some countries have a preference to ask closed-ended questions to maintain harmony and avoid confrontation (i.e., Poland, Japan, Korea, Latin America, India). And some of them ask more open-ended questions to drive clarity and efficiency in discussions (i.e., USA, the Netherlands, Sweden, Denmark, Arab countries). Asking closed-ended questions is fine if you want to get a straight, yes/no answer. But especially during workshops when we train with leaders on how to give feedback or just use the requestive PCM® channel, it appears how often they use this type of question by coincidence, purely unconsciously. And they’re so surprised that they don’t get the answer they aim for: Especially when they ask a closed-ended question with negation inside (i.e., “Don’t you think that’s a good idea?”). Open-ended questions directed to the Base Thinker or Persister will open a whole new conversation. You can get to know so much, only from changing one piece of

Czytaj dalej

4 January 2026 No Comments

Self-Development

2025 Lessons That I Take With Me for 2026

I would never say that I’m going to be that person, but this year it seems proper. I’d like to share with you my biggest lessons, gleaned from various aspects of my life. Because we can talk a lot, but the actions are what make the whole talking meaningful. That’s why I’ve decided to share what I’ve learned this year, so you can get inspired, see how my brain works, and maybe make some plans for yourself for 2026 using this sparkle. 2x Business Takes Time and Effort It was a year of hustle. Saying goodbye to safe options, making bold decisions about ending some partnerships, and going all in on who I really want to be as a Founder and Leader. Those decisions are never easy, but I’ve learned that if I want to go into the next level, I need to be scared but do it anyway. To mitigate risks, be smart, but take massive action. Building a business from scratch is never easy. Even if you do it for the 10th time, there’s always something that’s not going to look the way you planned. Not to mention when you do it for the first time ever. But I’ve discovered that consistency, moving forward, even if it’s one small step a day, is making the difference. 2026 is going to be a year of further progress. Because 10x is easier than 2x. Hosting a Podcast is my Thing This week, Leman Tech Leadership Podcast celebrated episode number 121. 2 episodes per week, 52 weeks of the year. Amazing guests from all around the world are joining me to have a conversation around leadership in technology, startups, and Founder’s struggles, building teams, fighting burnout, and many more. Last year was a year of starting it; 2025 was a year of staying consistent. 2026 is going to be a year of scaling it, so more people can use what we create. It is demanding, it requires scheduling, matching calendars, time zones, and doing research about the guests and solo content. I want to give as much value as possible every time I start recording, so I need to be mindful about the process all the time. But it’s totally worth it, and as long as people are listening, I’m going to continue recording. Writing a Book is Not THAT Hard I’ve struggled with starting to write a book for years. There was always something else to do, more important, more urgent. Moving from 9-5 through hybrid, to full-time entrepreneur, building a business from scratch, learning completely new skills I’ve never needed before, like sales, marketing, or social media strategy. But the second half of the year taught me that it will never be less busy; I just need to make a schedule, book the time, and do it. Don’t negotiate with myself. 2025 was a year of starting to write, and 2026 will be to publish it. Being an author is going to be a new part of my identity that already started growing in me, because the writing process… Is not that hard for me. I sit in front of my computer, I put on headphones that reduce ambient noise, and I just write. It’s also a lesson: People think that things are hard, sometimes impossible, or out of reach. But the truth is that many of them are hard only in our brain, which tries to protect us; when we start doing it, it turns out that it’s not THAT hard. We might even be mad at ourselves that we didn’t do it sooner. But hey, no regrets; only lessons. Obsession About Health is a Good One Ever since my MS diagnosis almost 7 years ago, I’ve become more conscious about my health choices. But this year was on steroids: Prioritising movement (6 workouts/week), moving into the next level as a hiker (finishing Korona Gór Polski and doing my first long-trail event [45 km in less than 16 hours]). Tracking my food habits, transforming some of them, and some are still in progress for 2026. But almost half of my MS brain changes are gone, so… I guess it’s worth the effort. Am I a little bit obsessive about my waking up / going to bed time or food choices? Maybe. Do I regret not eating late with my friends or watching TV so I can catch up on the endless shows that are on my Netflix list? Not at all. The lesson is that everything is a choice. And what I do with my time, health, and energy is the most important choice of all. No drama. Keeping Boundaries is not Selfish When you build something from scratch, you need to be very mindful of where and with whom you spend your time. What serves you and what robs you of the energy you need to push forward? 2025 was a year of keeping my boundaries where they should be, even if people around me weren’t happy about it. Getting up and going to bed early. Cutting the relationships with people and clients that are energy vampires (yes, you can fire a client and survive). Eating what serves me and not getting others’ into my brain with: “Ooooh, it’s just one time, how harmful can it be?” Not negotiating with myself: When I have something in the calendar (like “Book time” for writing), I cut the distractions and sit to write. Even if I have 10 different things I should take care of. Learning how to keep boundaries with myself was a lesson of the year. I plan to do it even more in 2026. Travelling is Freedom For me, travelling is freedom. Whether it’s about work or pure private trips, when I get on the plane, I feel like I can breathe again. 2026 is going to be even more abundant with it: Q1 is for Portugal and New Zealand (first APAC stage!), Q2 for a 3-week US trip, and then… Who knows! What makes you feeling free?

Czytaj dalej

28 December 2025 No Comments

Leadership

Experiencing Burnout in IT? Here’s Why

Are you feeling sick to your stomach on Sunday afternoon when you think about starting work on Monday? Or maybe you are under constant stress and pressure of not delivering everything you have on your task list? Not being up to date with everything that’s changing in the Tech world? Do you have moments of energy so low that you don’t even want to get out of bed to start working? If you said “YES” to at least one of the above, it might mean that you’re in the middle of burnout. A lack of power, energy, intrinsic motivation, and engagement to do things at work. Why is burnout a new pandemic, especially in the tech world? I see so many leaders, startup Founders and team members who are experiencing that state than I can count. That’s why I’ve decided to take a closer look at the subject and give you 2 things: The root cause analyses and some solutions that you can take and implement. So, if you are this person or you know somebody who is in the burnout zone, keep reading. Burnout Root Cause No. 1: Stretching Too Much The first root cause of burnout is staying in the stretch zone too much. In the article about OKRs, I gave you 4 zones of efficiency and growth: Bored, Comfort, Stretch, and Burnout Zone. When we are in the Comfort Zone too much, there’s no growth, and we can go into the Bored Zone. When we are in the Stretch Zone too much, we can go into the Burnout Zone. If you put yourself under too much pressure, you want to learn too much in a super short period of time, if you take on responsibilities that you’re not ready for or prepared to… You can go into burnout very easily. So, the question is: Do you push yourself too hard? Do you demand of yourself the things that you’re not so demanding about when it comes to others? And don’t get me wrong here. I’m a demanding person. I push myself every single day, but it costs a lot. And I’ve learned it the hard way because I pushed myself and then pushed myself and then I got sick. So, it was the wakeup call for me: To take care of my health and get my priorities straight. Do I still have moments of exhaustion? Sure, I have. But I also know that the best way is to move from Comfort to Stretch Zone in balance to prevent burnout. Diluted focus gives you diluted results. Always. The burnout among IT professionals, leaders, C-level people, Founders, and Co-founders in the startup setup is well-documented and a growing issue. So, it’s not like it wasn’t visible in the past, and it appeared like today. It’s growing, and it’s a lot of research, a lot of studies about this issue. Burnout Root Cause No. 2: Excessive Workload Another root cause is excessive workload and working long hours. Of course. Especially when you are a Founder or Co-founder, when you are building your business from scratch. But it should be a phase, not a day-to-day reality until the rest of your life. So, we have heavy workloads and frequent overtime. When you work as a highly responsible person (the higher position in the org chart, the more responsibilities you have), there’s a pattern of an expectation, mostly unspoken, to be constantly available. It’s also attached to the SME level; it seems like everybody experiences it. And we have numbers to show us how much it cost. The research of the ISACA Tech Workplace and Culture survey from March 2025 shows that 54 % of IT professionals have heavy workloads, and 43 % point to long hours as the primary drivers of burnout. We have more. The same research is talking about tight deadlines, 41% respondents say that they lack resources, 41 % underlines unsupportive management, also 41% the lack of appreciation. Burnout Root Cause No. 3: Constant High Pressure Another bucket of the burnout root causes in tech is high pressure work environment. When you work in a startup environment, it is super high-pressure because we are going for the next round of investment, or maybe we have a VC on board, and they require results because they invested and they want to get the money back. There’s always going to be pressure when it comes to money, startup setup or the corporate world. But we also have a high pressure of an expectation for innovation and rapid delivery. Because the world is shifting, and technology is changing so fast that it’s like being on a mission all the time. Tight deadlines, high expectations. Constant misery of the business because they’re not happy with the deadlines, with the functionalities that we deliver. Burnout Root Cause No. 4: Continuous Learning Demand In connection with that, the next part is the rapid technological change in continuous learning demand. So, it adds up to the pressure as well, because we need to continually update skills, especially Subject Matter Experts, engineers, and leaders. We like it or not, we cannot know everything. And I know that a lot of Thinkers are not on board with me on that one, but it is impossible to be up to date with everything. But a lot of professionals are overwhelmed by the pressure to learn new tools and practices while managing the existing responsibilities, tasks, projects, and initiatives, because it is like having two jobs. So, one, my day job is to keep the machine running, and the next job, the second part of it, is to keep up. And it can be a cause of burnout because it’s impossible. After all, it’s a never-ending story. It’s impossible to know everything. Burnout Root Cause No. 5: Work-Life Imbalance The next one is work-life imbalance and blurred boundaries. So, it is a shift, and I think it started

Czytaj dalej

20 December 2025 No Comments