10 things that can change your life

Self-Development

There are thousands of articles, books, podcasts and YT videos in the subject: “how to change your life”. A lot of them have its ultimate goal to magically change everything, starting with losing a lot of extra weight, through finding a perfect partner, to having a perfect job. And ideally all of those things should happen overnight.

But we are adults, and even if we love good stories with a happy ending, those things never happen just like that. All we can do is to work on them to happen. Make conscious decisions about using our time, spending it well – regardless of what “well” means to each of us.

In this article I would like to share 10 things that works for me in making my life better every single day. What makes me feel that I spend my time well, that I choose what serves me the best and what helps to have this though in my head at the end of the day: “yes, it was a good day”.

1. Getting up at 6AM every day

First live changer from my list. Getting up at 6AM every single day, not sleeping off on the weekends made my day better structured than before. I discovered that 5AM club is too early for me, and I’ve decided to try 6AM and it appeared perfect. I never had problems with getting up early, but I missed the regularity and I needed to change that. After making this change, I found out how many things I can do before starting my business day and it is beautiful. Yes, it can be harder in the fall and winter, when the days are short and many hours during the day is dark or gray outside (it sure is in Poland), but it is worth it.

When you are wondering if this is something you can do, think about one thing that you always say you don’t have time for? This is the thing that you can do when you get up earlier. It doesn’t necessarily be 6AM – it can be 5AM, 5:30AM or 7:30AM. It all depends on your life, all the things that you need to do during the day, so it’s your choice. Try 15 minutes earlier than usually for a start. And do it every day, sleeping off on the weekends it the worst thing you can do to your body, because you don’t give yourself a chance to regulate your day cycle.

2. Morning workout and meditation

Since I work with different time zones in my job and I have naturally more energy in the morning than in the evening, I do as many things as I can in the first half of my day.

I built a habit of 5-minute meditation by sticking it to my morning workout, which was already there. You can read more about building good habits by sticking them together in a great book by Charles Duhigg “The Power of Habit”.

I do six workouts every week, with one rest day somewhere in between, depends on the weather and other plans I have. After that I meditate for 5 minutes – it is the maximum time that I can focus on my brain for now. It gives me power and energy for the rest of the day, and I don’t need to worry about this area after a hard workday when I need to rest.

3. Short journaling with 2 gains lists

I discovered that writing in a journal, even if it’s just one page per day, give me a structure that I need for my thoughts or experiences from the previous day. And I added additional thing after reading a great book by Ben Hardy and Dan Sullivan “The Gap and The Gain”. The exercise is really simple.

Make a list of gains from yesterday. Write down all the things that you achieved, even if it’s something super small, like reading 5 pages of a book, waking up 15 minutes earlier than usually or taking your vitamins. Every single thing matters. Recognize yourself for everything you do every day.

Then make a list of 3 gains that you would like to achieve today. It can be connected to all areas of your life: mental, physical, digital or financial well-being, relations, work, professional development etc. Choose 3 things, no more, no less, and focus on achieving them – you’ll check the accomplishments with yourself the next morning.

You can also do this in the evening (the authors are talking about evenings, after finishing the current day and before starting the next one in the morning), but mornings are just working better for me. Choose by yourself, spend 5 minutes on that – it will be worth it.

4. Having daily / weekly / monthly / yearly goals

I am a really structured person. I love making plans, paths how to get to the goals, and I hate when people are messy and indecisive.

I discovered in another Ben Hardy’s book “Being Your Future Self Now” the idea of having 5-year goals, when you choose 3 areas of your life or 3 elements you would like to achieve and you do everything to get to them. I connected it with my daily goals (gains) and I use the monthly list of experiences (the idea of a Polish author Edyta Zajac – you can find her work in PL HERE) for years now and it works brilliantly for me. So I connected all the dots and I create different goals for different periods of time, with being mindful about my bigger 5-year goals. That way I make sure that I spend my time wisely, and not wasting it for the things that are not bringing me closer to achieving what I want. By making that change, you can do more with less.

5. Having slots for deep work

Being distracted is one of the worst habits of our times. We have millions of information that come to our brains daily, messages, notifications, calls, Teams or Slack chats. There are so many of them that we can’t focus to finish one thing. Multitasking is a myth, there is no such thing. We can shift our attention from one thing to another, sometimes very quickly, but we cannot do two things at the same time with the same amount of mindfulness.

That’s why I chose to book time in my calendar to have slots for deep work, based on a tips from another great book “Deep Work” by Cal Newport. I have those every day, I almost never plan anything else during this time, no meetings, no calls etc. I take my daily goals and I cover them, one by one, using the time in the best possible way. That way I can do more with less (working smarter, not harder).

6. Eating healthy

Changing diet was not only for my body but also for my brain to be healthy and focused. I gave up on meat, 90% of candy (sometimes I have a piece of homemade cake), processed food, most of the alcohol. That way, I take care of myself better, I have more energy from good sources of food, and I make sure that I’m not treating my body as a trash can. By having the biggest meal not later than around 1-2PM, I sleep better as well, since by body isn’t focused on digestion at night. You can try cutting one bad thing from your diet and start from there. You will see results very quickly.

7. Taking care of boundaries

Mental well-being is an area where we take care of our minds, thoughts and needs. I wrote more about types of well-being HERE. Boundaries are necessary to take care of ourselves, even if we didn’t do it before. Saying “no” to things that aren’t our responsibility, to the things that are not bringing us closer to achieving our goals, or those that other people think are “normal” is more than fine. Always doing it with a good intention, not to hurt anybody, but to protect yourself is a wise thing to do.

Turning off notifications on your smartphone is also a boundary – of a distractor in your deep work time i.e. Your intention here is to protect your time and your needs, communicate it clearly, so people around you understand why it is important. And that it is not against them, to hurt them or push them away. This is the story about you, your needs, your goals. Even if the environment doesn’t understand it at the beginning and is surprised or unhappy, keep going. They are going to get used to this new you, after you make the change.

8. Reading as much as possible

Lifelong learning is one of my top 5 values. I teach others and to teach them well, I need to know more, choose what’s useful and give them an essence of what really matters. Reading is one of my favorite ways of expanding my knowledge, connecting the dots between every thing that I learn, to find structure and meaning in what I have in my brain.

It doesn’t really matter what you read. It can be a developmental book, a paper, an article, a piece of documentation, a study, a novel. All is good, because you choose to train your brain, to be focused on a story or knowledge you would like to absorb.

9. Having time for close people

I wrote lastly about this statement that we are an average of 5 people we spend the most of our time with. And I believe this. Sometimes we don’t have a chance to choose who they are (i.e. our parents), but we can choose how much time we spend with them and pick what is worth the investment.

I talk to my parents every day, write with my friends, meet them regularly. I share thoughts, photos, links to something interesting to read. I try to be mindful about the time with my husband, even if he tells me that I’m always super busy and don’t have time for him. Use the quality time, even if it is just 15 minutes. We all need people in our lives, sometimes just to be with them and to know that they are there when we need them, and vice versa. But not all of them equally – try to change the way to think about yourself in the context of others. Who are good influence and who not so much?

10. Going to sleep around the same time every day

The same way I treat getting up, I treat going to sleep. I need to sleep at least 7 hours per day, with less my brain is not functioning very good, I feel like on a constant hangover. Having structure around this is super important, since you need to rest, after the whole day of being active. Recharge, prepare yourself for the next great day you have in front of you. That change is going to help your mind and body to work more efficiently and to reach your full potential.

The bottom line

We are all so busy. One of the biggest excuses I hear every day. I don’t have time for this, I don’t have time for that.

But you are the person who makes all the decisions. So why not to decide better what you do with you time every day? I gave you 10 things that work for me, personally. I keep them adaptive and flexible since the world around us is changing all the time. It works now, but maybe I would need to change something in the next few weeks or months, and that’s perfectly fine.

Take your life and do something meaningful with it. It will be worth to try the change.

Udostępnij

Komentarze

0 0 votes

Article Rating

2 komentarzy

Oldest

Newest Most Voted

Inline Feedbacks

View all comments

How to kill “I don’t have time” excuse? - Lemanskills.com

2 years ago

[…] about this approach in a book “Deep Work” by Cal Newport (I wrote about slots for deep work HERE as […]

Do you want to boost your career? 3 easy ways to make a change - Lemanskills.com

2 years ago

[…] like to do that you don’t do today. Remember to keep it very small, extremely simple. You can use some of those or create your own example. The important thing here is that this new habit needs to be linked to […]

Czytaj także

Leadership

10 Ways to Get Your Time Back: Practical Tips for a Tech Leader

As a Tech Leader, your day is likely filled with endless meetings, urgent emails, project deadlines, and unexpected crises. It’s easy to feel like there’s never enough time to focus on what truly matters—whether that’s strategic thinking, team development, or even your own well-being. But here’s the good news: with a few intentional changes, you can reclaim your time and focus on what drives real impact. This isn’t about pretty theories or abstract advice. Below, you’ll find 10 practical, actionable tips that you can start implementing today to get your time back. Interested? Let’s get to it! #1 Audit Your Calendar Your calendar tells the story of where your time goes—and often, it’s not a pretty picture. Start by reviewing your calendar for the past two weeks. Ask yourself: Which meetings were truly necessary? Could some have been shorter? Were there meetings I didn’t need to attend at all as a leader of my team? Depends on the answers, make some shifts. Move meetings around, if you have influence on them: put them in the time of the day that you’re not in your genius zone. Use the calendar as you source of power, not a thing you are a slave of. Actionable Tip: For every recurring meeting on your calendar, apply the “zero-based budgeting” approach. Assume the meeting doesn’t need to exist unless there’s a compelling reason to keep it. For meetings you do keep, limit them to 25 or 50 minutes instead of the standard 30 or 60 minutes—this will force more focused discussions and give you breathing room between calls. #2 Delegate Like a Pro Leader Tech Leaders often fall into the trap of trying to do everything themselves—whether it’s troubleshooting a technical issue or reviewing every line of code. But delegation isn’t just about offloading tasks; it’s about empowering your team and creating space for you to focus on higher-level priorities. Actionable Tip: Use the “3D Framework” for tasks: Do it, Delegate it, or Delete it. If a task doesn’t absolutely require your expertise, delegate it to someone who can handle it. And if it doesn’t add value, delete it altogether. Make sure of good contracting around the delegation though: it needs to be clear, including context, checking on the skillset of the person who’s going to get the task. Be smart here; don’t assume: ask. #3 Batch Similar Tasks Together Switching between tasks—like coding, answering emails or Slack / Teams messages, and attending meetings—can drain your mental energy and waste time. Instead, group similar tasks together and tackle them in dedicated blocks of time. Actionable Tip: Create “themed” days or blocks of time. For example: – Monday mornings: Strategic planning – Tuesday afternoons: One-on-ones with team members – Friday mornings: Deep work on a long-term project When you batch tasks, you reduce context-switching and increase focus. Let’s say it once for good: there’s no such thing as multitasking. You can switch between tasks really quickly, but it has its cost. Reduce it, be more focused and you’ll see the difference in your efficiency and energy level as a leader. #4 Say “No” More Often Every time you say “yes” to something, you’re saying “no” to something else—often your own priorities. Learning to say “no”, or “yes, and…” is one of the most powerful ways to protect your time as a Tech Leader. Actionable Tip: When someone asks for your time, don’t respond immediately. Instead, say: “Let me think about it and get back to you.” This gives you space to evaluate whether the request aligns with your goals. If it doesn’t, politely decline or suggest an alternative solution. Remember about being in OK-OK space: you don’t want to be rude or aggressive; boundary setting is not about hurting others, it’s about protecting yourself. #5 Leverage Asynchronous Communication Not every conversation needs to happen in real-time. In fact, asynchronous communication can save you hours each week by reducing unnecessary meetings and interruptions. Actionable Tip: Use tools like Slack, MS Teams, or Loom to communicate asynchronously. For example, instead of scheduling a meeting to discuss a project update, record a short video or write a detailed message outlining the key points and next steps. Bonus Tip: Set clear expectations for response times in asynchronous channels (i.e., “respond within 24 hours”) so everyone stays aligned without feeling pressured to reply instantly. #6 Automate Repetitive Tasks If you’re spending time on repetitive tasks that could be automated, you’re leaving valuable hours on the table. Automation isn’t just for developers—it’s a key productivity tool for all of us, regardless of our role in the organization. Actionable Tip: Identify one repetitive task you handle weekly (i.e., generating reports, scheduling meetings, answering emails) and automate it using tools like Zapier, IFTTT, or custom scripts. Example: Automate status updates by integrating project management tools like Jira or Trello with Slack so your team gets real-time progress updates without manual intervention. #7 Create Decision-Making Frameworks Decision fatigue is real—and as a tech leader, you’re probably making dozens of decisions every day. And we have a limited decision capacity: we make around 35,000 decisions daily, but less than 100 are optimal. Creating frameworks can help streamline this process and free up mental energy for more important work and more capacity for better decisions. Actionable Tip: Develop simple decision-making criteria for recurring situations. For example: Hiring decisions: Does this candidate have at least 70% of the required skills? Project prioritization: Does this initiative align with our top three business goals? Task selection: Does this task bring me closer to the OKRs I have on my list for this quarter? By standardizing decisions, you’ll spend less time deliberating and more time executing. #8 Adopt a “Less is More” Leadership Mindset In Tech Leadership, more isn’t always better—more features, more meetings, more initiatives can lead to diminishing returns. Focus on doing fewer things exceptionally well rather than spreading yourself too

Czytaj dalej

5 January 2025 No Comments

Leadership

Why Habits Are Better Than Goals: A Guide for Leaders

As technology leaders, we live in a world driven by deadlines, KPIs, and ambitious goals. We’re taught to set objectives and measure progress. But what if I told you that focusing on habits rather than goals might be the game-changer you’ve been looking for? Especially if you’re struggling to find time for your own professional development or noticing low engagement within your team, shifting your mindset to prioritize habits could transform not only your leadership but also your entire organization. Let’s explore why habits are more powerful than goals and how they can help you lead with greater impact. The Problem with Goals Goals are seductive. They promise a future where everything is better: you’ve mastered a new skill, your team is more engaged, or you’ve finally achieved that elusive work-life balance. But here’s the catch: goals are outcome-focused. They emphasize the “what” rather than the “how”. For example, let’s say your goal is to improve team engagement. You might set metrics like increasing participation in meetings or boosting employee satisfaction scores. But once you hit those targets, what happens next? Without a system in place, the progress often stalls or even reverses. Goals also have an inherent flaw: they’re temporary. Once achieved, they leave a void. This is why so many of us experience the post-goal slump: a sense of “what now?” after crossing the finish line. Moreover, as busy technology leaders, goals can feel overwhelming. When your calendar is already packed with back-to-back meetings and project deadlines, adding another goal to the mix can feel like just another task on an endless to-do list. Why Habits Are the Better Alternative? Habits, on the other hand, focus on the process. They are small, consistent actions that compound over time to create meaningful change. Instead of chasing a distant outcome, habits anchor you in the present and guide your daily behavior. Here’s why this matters: Habits Build Identity. While goals are about achieving something external, habits shape who you are. For example, instead of setting a goal to “become a better communicator,” you could develop the habit of asking open-ended questions during one-on-one meetings. Over time, this habit reinforces your identity as a leader who listens and connects deeply with their team. Habits Are Sustainable. Unlike goals, which have an endpoint, habits are ongoing. They create a foundation for continuous improvement without requiring constant resets. A habit like setting aside 15 minutes every day for professional reading or reflection becomes part of your routine:no extra mental energy required. Habits Reduce Decision Fatigue. As a leader, you make countless decisions every day. Habits automate certain behaviors, freeing up mental bandwidth for higher-priority tasks. For instance, if you establish a habit of starting each morning by reviewing your team’s priorities, you don’t have to waste time deciding how to begin your day: it’s already decided for you. Habits Drive Engagement. When it comes to team dynamics, habits can be contagious. If you consistently model behaviors like active listening or celebrating small wins, your team is likely to adopt those practices as well. Over time, these shared habits create a culture of engagement and collaboration without requiring constant top-down interventions. How to Build Habits That Stick? Now that we’ve established why habits are so powerful, let’s talk about how to build them effectively. Here are some practical steps tailored for busy technology leaders: #1 Start Small One of the biggest mistakes people make is trying to change their entire routine overnight. Instead, focus on one small habit at a time. For example, if you want to prioritize professional development, commit to reading just one article or watching one TED Talk per week. Once this becomes second nature, you can build on it. #2 Anchor New Habits to Existing Routines Habits are easier to establish when they’re tied to something you already do regularly. For instance, if you want to foster better communication with your team, make it a habit to ask for feedback during your weekly check-ins. The check-in is already part of your routine; now it has an added layer of intentionality. #3 Focus on Systems, Not Outcomes Instead of obsessing over results, concentrate on creating systems that support your desired behavior. For example, if you want to encourage innovation within your team, implement a habit of dedicating 10 minutes at the end of each meeting for brainstorming new ideas. #4 Track Progress and Celebrate Small Wins While habits don’t rely on external validation like goals do, tracking your progress can still be motivating. Use apps or simple checklists to monitor consistency and celebrate milestones along the way. #5 Be Patient and Consistent Habits take time to form: research suggests anywhere from 21 days to several months depending on the complexity of the behavior. Don’t be discouraged by setbacks. Focus on consistency over perfection. The Ripple Effect of Habits in Leadership When you embrace habits as a leader, the benefits extend far beyond your personal growth: they ripple out to your entire team and organization. Here are some examples: Improved Team Engagement. By modeling habits like regular recognition or transparent communication, you create an environment where team members feel valued and motivated. Greater Innovation. Small habits like encouraging questions or dedicating time for creative thinking can spark breakthroughs that drive your projects forward. Stronger Relationships. Consistent habits like active listening or showing empathy build trust and strengthen connections with both colleagues and stakeholders. Most importantly, focusing on habits helps you lead by example. It shows your team that growth isn’t about chasing lofty goals but about showing up every day with intention and purpose. A Challenge for You! As you reflect on this article, I want to leave you with a simple challenge: choose one habit that aligns with your leadership vision and commit to practicing it consistently for the next 30 days. It could be as simple as starting each day with five minutes of mindfulness or ending each meeting

Czytaj dalej

24 December 2024 No Comments

Leadership

Communication Intelligence (CQ): A Key to the Effective Leadership

In the ever-evolving landscape of work, where collaboration and innovation are necessary to survive on the demanding market, one skill stands out as a game-changer: Communication Intelligence (CQ). As a tech leadership expert and someone deeply invested in helping leaders and teams create environments where people thrive, I cannot stress enough the importance of mastering CQ. It’s not just about talking or listening; it’s about understanding, tailoring, and connecting. Let’s dive into what CQ is, why it matters, and how we can build this skill: both as leaders and team members. What Is Communication Intelligence (CQ)? At its core, Communication Intelligence (CQ) is the ability to adapt your communication style to connect effectively with others. It’s about being aware of your own communication tendencies while recognizing and responding to the diverse preferences of those around you. Think of it as emotional intelligence (EQ) but focused specifically on how we exchange information, ideas, and emotions. CQ involves empathy, adaptability, and clarity. It’s not just about what you say but how you say it—and how it’s received. Mastering CQ means being intentional in your interactions and ensuring that your message resonates with the person or people on the other side. Why Is CQ Essential for Leaders and Team Members? In my work with leaders and teams, I often see how miscommunication can ruin even the best intentions. A lack of CQ can lead to misunderstandings, conflict, and disengagement. On the flip side, strong CQ fosters trust, collaboration, and alignment: key ingredients for both thriving teams and great business results. Here’s why CQ is crucial: #1 For Leaders: they set the tone for communication within their teams. If a leader lacks CQ, they risk alienating team members, failing to inspire, or unintentionally creating a culture of fear or confusion. Leaders with high CQ can tailor their messages to motivate diverse individuals, navigate difficult conversations with grace, and build an environment where everyone feels heard and valued. #2 For Team Members: in a team setting, CQ helps individuals collaborate more effectively. When team members understand each other’s communication styles, they can avoid unnecessary friction and build stronger relationships. High CQ also empowers individuals to voice their ideas in ways that resonate with others, fostering innovation and mutual respect. Understanding what high CQ looks like (and what it doesn’t) is key to developing this skill. Let’s explore some examples and anti-examples. Examples of High CQ Behaviors: – active listening: truly hearing what someone is saying without interrupting or jumping to conclusions to soon, – tailoring messaging: adapting your tone, language, or delivery based on the audience. For instance, explaining a technical concept in simple terms for a non-technical stakeholder, – understanding in action: acknowledging someone’s emotions and needs before moving to problem-solving. For example, saying, “I can see this situation has been frustrating for you” before diving into solutions, – clarity in feedback: providing constructive feedback that is specific, actionable, and framed positively. And what’s even more: giving people space to take it in and make a decision what they want to do with it (take or discard), – proactive negative conflict resolution: addressing misunderstandings early rather than letting them grow and eat people alive. And remembering that not all conflicts are bad (actually a fear of conflict is one of the 5 Dysfunctions Of The Team by Patrick Lencioni). Anti-Examples of Low CQ Behaviors: – interrupting or talking over others: this signals a lack of respect and can shut down meaningful dialogue. It also means that you don’t care about the other person, or anything they say or think, – one-size-fits-all communication: using the same approach for everyone without considering individual preferences or needs. There’s only 17% of chances that the person next to you prefers your communication base. That’s why listening and tailoring is so important: to get the stakes higher than that, – ignoring non-verbal cues: overlooking body language or tone that suggests someone is uncomfortable or disengaged. We have 4 things we can observe: mimics, ton of voice, gestures and posture. Ignoring those non-verbal imformation is going to cost us a lot, – defensiveness in feedback: reacting negatively when receiving constructive criticism instead of seeking to understand, ask more questions, be curious about what the other person wants to say to me, – avoiding difficult conversations: failing to address issues directly, leading to confusion or resentment. And the further it goes, the worse it becomes: it’s really difficiult to stop the huge snowball. So what we can do to avoid those anti-examples? Use PCM to Build it! One of the most effective tools I use when working with leaders and teams on CQ is the Process Communication Model (PCM). PCM provides a framework for understanding different personality types and their communication preferences. It’s like having a map that helps you navigate the complexities of human interaction. So why PCM is a good idea to support buildling a high CQ level? It gives you bigger self-awareness: start by identifying your own dominant personality type. This helps you understand your natural communication style and potential blind spots. With whom it’s super easy to go with and when it will be a bigger challenge. It equips you with higher ability of observation: pay attention to the verbal and non-verbal cues of others to identify their preferred communication style. For example: – A Thinker might appreciate detailed agendas and logical arguments. – A Harmonizer may respond better to warmth and emotional connection. It gives you a reason to adapt more: tailor your communication to match the other person’s style. If you’re a Promoter speaking with an Imaginer, slow down and give them time to process rather than pushing for immediate action. It shows you how to practice under stress: PCM also teaches us how stress impacts communication. For instance, under stress, a Thinker might become overly critical, while a Rebel might resort to sarcasm and manipulation. Recognizing these patterns helps us respond constructively rather than

Czytaj dalej

29 November 2024 No Comments