Lemanskills.com

Why Not to Start New Year’s Resolutions Now?

When I write this article it’s the middle of November 2022. Wars all around the globe, sky rocking inflation, upcoming recession, many different diseases – depression and anxiety on the top of the list. Let’s be honest – it isn’t the best landscape that we could’ve imagined for ourselves to live in. What does that have to do with the New Year’s resolutions?

When the times are hard, we prefer to stay low, to wait until the situation improves. We wait. And we wait. And we wait a little bit more. And guess what?

There is always SOMETHING. Politics, wars, pandemics, environment pollution, education crisis. You name it. There is always something that is going on that we can treat as an excuse to not taking uncomfortable action, to change something, to get a new job or to end a relationship that isn’t working anymore. So the real question is, what can we do to stick to the New Year’s resolutions that most of us make at the very beginning of the year? Let’s start to work on them now.

Why most of the New Year’s resolutions don’t stick?

We are so motivated, have a lot of energy, sometimes even a great plan. We wait until January 1 and… Only about 16% of us are sticking to the resolutions we make at the beginning of the year, most of us give up during the first 6 weeks.

Why?

“I don’t have time”, “I don’t have money”, “I need to focus on different things now”, “I am not motivated enough to do this”, “Nobody supports me in this”. That’s just some of the most frequent ones. And it doesn’t really matter if we are talking about getting rid of bad elements of our life or building new, good ones.

Excuses are one thing. Why else those resolutions don’t stick?

  • We use magical thinking of the New-Year-New-Me situation that only lasts few days.
  • The resolutions are too big.
  • Those things we want to change are not connected to anything that is already in our life.
  • We want to achieve something in a really short period of time.
  • We assume 0/1 situation.
  • We don’t differentiate goals from habits.
  • The resolution is not about us, it’s about other people or things that we have zero influence on.
  • We don’t enjoy it.

 Which of those is applicable to yourself? More than one? All of them?

What can we do differently?

Each bullet point can be resolved – some of those are easier to manage, some are more complex and difficult. But altogether, it’s possible to finish with the old, bad habits and beliefs about resolutions, and start with being better with them, starting today.

1. We use magical thinking of the New-Year-new-me situation that only lasts few days.

This is the reason why I encourage you to start today, not to wait until January 1. Magical thinking can be connected to some traditions, rituals, habits taken from family, religion or society. New Year’s resolutions are part of our social life – media talk about it, we talk about it every year with our friends, the subject is always there when the year starts. Stop it and change the way of thinking and doing. Don’t wait for a perfect timing, it can never come.

2. The resolutions are too big.

There is nothing wrong with thinking and dreaming big. My advice is: dream big, plan small. Divide your dreams and goals for smaller chunks that are more achievable. Don’t underestimate the small – sometimes we value only the big things, and it is a crime to our well-being and a sense of self-recognition. Remember, small is better than zero, and a sum of small things makes the whole big thing happen.

3. Those things we want to change are not connected to anything that is already in our life.

It is always harder to create a new habit or skill when we start from scratch, then to develop the thing that is already there. When you plan new things you would like to have, always choose the existing habit, activity or a simple thing you do every day. Glue a new thing to the old one, it makes it stick.

4. We want to achieve a resolution in a really short period of time.

I know that we all like quick results. We want to believe in losing 10kg in one month or in learning how to read a book per day in two weeks. Try to divide the bigger dreams to the smaller chunks that you can achieve faster. It’ll give you constant boost of motivation and will keep you on track to not quit before you see any results.

5. We assume 0/1 situation (either I achieve it or not – there is nothing in between, no space for flexibility, change or not being perfect all the time).

We punish ourselves when we eat a piece of candy when we wanted to quit. Let’s say that you’ve decided to quit eating it starting Monday, and on Thursday you ate a small piece of chocolate. What most people do? “Screw it, I’ve already slipped, so I’ll eat the whole thing and start my diet on Monday”. And it goes on and on, as a never-ending story. What about that: “all right, I’ve slipped – it can happen to anyone”, and keep continue not eating candy after the event. Nobody is perfect and there is no point in punishing ourselves for it every single day.

6. We don’t differentiate goals from habits.

A goal is a thing we want to achieve, and a habit is a repetitive, sometimes even unconscious sequence of behavior that can lead us to reach the goal. It’s important that we differentiate those two elements, just to make sure that we build habits that are going to be useful while achieving the goals we want.  

7. The resolution is not about us, it’s about other people or things that we have zero influence on.

We often quit on things because we don’t see result of our actions. And we don’t see the results, because we want to change something (or someone) that is way out of our influence zone. Remember that we can only change things that are in our scope of control – how we react on certain things, how we communicate, set boundaries or use our time. Focus on that, don’t waste time on something that won’t bring any results, only frustration.

8. We don’t enjoy it.

Is life fun anymore? I can feel that mostly it isn’t, so let’s do something about it. When we make resolutions painful, they don’t stick. It’s a saying in Poland that mothers passes to their daughters: “Do you want to be pretty? You need to suffer”. That’s how we learn to suffer in silence, don’t speak up when our boundaries are violated or don’t tell others about our real needs. Resolutions should be challenging, but they should be fun at the same time. If you are choosing a new sport discipline to train, pick the one that brings you sweat, but also joy or opportunity to meet new people. Don’t make it a punishment, it’ll only make it worse and you’ll quit.

The bottom line

Even if we really want, the magical wands don’t exist.  We can’t simply wish for a change that will come to us before we even realize. Every change requires work, taking uncomfortable action, making mistakes and learning from them. It is not ideal, but it’s life. We can take it or leave it, it’s our choice if we stay in the miserable life that we are going to regret OR we can make an effort and move forward.

So start with the New Year’s resolutions now. Take a piece of paper or open an Excel spreadsheet. Make a list. Divide the bigger things into the smaller, more achievable chunks. Have fun and enjoy the process of change. Observe how you grow every single day, without waiting for the perfect moment to start.

What do you say to that idea?

Udostępnij

Komentarze

Comments are closed.

Czytaj także

Organization

Job-Hugging: When Staying Put Becomes a Strategy (Or a Trap)

Remember 2021? When did it feel like everyone and their neighbor was quitting their job? The Great Resignation dominated headlines—millions of people walking away from their roles every single month. Media outlets couldn’t stop talking about it. Fast forward to today, and the pendulum has swung hard in the opposite direction. Welcome to the era of job-hugging. What the Numbers Are Telling Us? According to Monster’s 2025 Job Hugging Report, the landscape has completely shifted. Here’s what’s happening: 48% of workers admit they’re staying in their current roles longer than they otherwise would—driven by comfort, security, and stability 75% plan to remain in their current position for at least the next two years 85% say they’ve practiced job-hugging at some point in their career Voluntary departures have dropped from 4.5 million monthly (November 2021 peak) to around 3.2-3.3 million today The trend isn’t slowing down. 59% of workers say job-hugging is more common in 2025 than it was last year, and 63% expect it to grow even stronger in 2026. The top reasons people are staying put? Compensation and benefits (27%) and job security (26%). This isn’t just data. This is a fundamental shift in how people think about their careers. When Job-Hugging Makes Sense? Let me be clear about something: job-hugging isn’t inherently good or bad. It’s a tool. And like any tool, context matters. Sometimes staying is the smartest decision you can make. Maybe you have a mortgage. Maybe your partner just switched jobs, and you need the stability. Maybe you’re dealing with health issues—yours or a family member’s. Maybe you’re simply exhausted from the mental load of the past few years and don’t have the bandwidth for a job search right now. All of these are valid reasons. Job searching is work. It’s additional, unpaid work on top of your already full plate. Not everyone has the energy for that, and that’s okay. But here’s where it gets interesting: job-hugging can actually work in your favor if you’re intentional about it. Staying in your current role makes sense when you’re: Taking on new projects that stretch your capabilities Learning from people outside your immediate team Building deep expertise that compounds over time Developing relationships that open doors internally Getting exposure to different parts of the business The keyword here? Intentional. Because staying by default and staying by design are two completely different strategies. The Trap Nobody Talks About Here’s the uncomfortable truth: many teams right now are full of people who’ve mentally checked out but physically stayed. That’s not stability. That’s inertia masquerading as strategy. The Monster report revealed some telling emotional trade-offs: 38% say job-hugging has no real impact on their satisfaction 27% feel less satisfied and “stuck” in their roles 25% feel more satisfied, citing security and value When it comes to career growth, workers are similarly divided: 47% say it has little effect 27% see it as limiting advancement 26% believe it builds expertise And here’s what concerns me most: 94% of workers recognize there are risks to job-hugging. The top concerns? Missing out on higher pay (26%), burnout from lack of change (25%), and limited career advancement (25%). So people know. They know they’re potentially trading long-term growth for short-term comfort. But they’re doing it anyway. The Real Question Leaders Should Be Asking If 75% of your team plans to stay through 2027, what are you doing to ensure they’re growing, not just showing up? This is where most organizations are failing spectacularly. See, employers love job huggers. The same Monster report shows that companies value them for loyalty (26%), institutional knowledge (22%), and lower turnover costs (30%). But here’s the problem: just because someone is staying doesn’t mean they’re engaged. It doesn’t mean they’re motivated. And it definitely doesn’t mean they’re performing at their best. In my work with tech leaders through the CQ Leadership Method, I see this pattern constantly: Teams filled with talented people who are… fine. Not thriving. Not building. Not pushing boundaries. Just… there. They show up to meetings. They complete their tasks. They don’t rock the boat. But they’re not bringing the energy, creativity, or commitment that actually moves organizations forward. And leaders? They’re often relieved people aren’t quitting, so they don’t dig deeper. What Communication Intelligence Reveals About Job-Hugging? When I work with teams using Process Communication Model® (PCM), one of the first things we uncover is how people’s motivational needs are—or aren’t—being met. People don’t just stay in jobs for money and benefits, despite what they tell surveys. They stay (or leave) based on whether their core psychological needs are being fulfilled. For some people, job-hugging might feel safe because their need for structure and recognition is being met. For others, it’s a quiet desperation—they need challenge, growth, and autonomy, but fear has them frozen in place. The difference between strategic job-hugging and career stagnation often comes down to this: Are you having real conversations about what people actually need to grow? Not surface-level check-ins. Not performance reviews that feel like box-ticking exercises. Real conversations. The kind where you ask: “What do you want to learn this year that you don’t know how to do right now?” “What projects would energize you?” “What’s one thing that, if we could change it, would make you more excited to be here?” These conversations require Communication Intelligence (CQ)—the ability to recognize that different people are motivated by different things, and to tailor your leadership approach accordingly. What Actually Works: Moving From Job-Hugging to Strategic Growth If you’re a leader right now, here’s what I’d encourage you to do: Acknowledge the reality Don’t pretend the economic uncertainty isn’t real. Don’t downplay people’s legitimate concerns about stability. Meet them where they are. Create visible growth paths If people are going to stay for two years, show them what growth looks like internally. Not vague “development opportunities”—specific projects, skills, and experiences they can pursue. Make development a performance metric Track it. Talk about it in 1:1s. Make it as important

Czytaj dalej
Leadership

The Number One Struggle of New Tech Leaders (And How to Navigate It)

You’ve just been promoted. The title changed from Senior Developer to Engineering Manager, from Tech Lead to Director of Technology. Congratulations—you’ve worked hard for this moment.   But then reality hits. Your inbox explodes. Slack messages pile up faster than you can read them. You’re pulled into meeting after meeting. Your calendar looks like a game of Tetris gone wrong. And that code you used to write? That deep work you loved? It’s now squeezed into whatever gaps remain between 1:1s, stand-ups, stakeholder updates, and strategic planning sessions. Welcome to the number one struggle every brand-new leader in technology faces: Communication overload. The Hidden Cost of Being “Always On” Here’s what nobody tells you when you step into leadership: Your job has fundamentally transformed from creating solutions to constant communication. And the data confirms this shift is real—and overwhelming. According to Grammarly’s 2024 State of Business Communication Report, developed with The Harris Poll, knowledge workers now spend 88% of their workweek communicating. For new tech leaders juggling team management, cross-functional collaboration, and strategic initiatives, that percentage often exceeds 100% of a standard work week. The report reveals something even more alarming: in the past 12 months, 78% of professionals saw increases in communication frequency, while 73% are using more communication channels than ever before. For HR teams and large organizations—exactly where many new tech leaders find themselves—many report spending over 40 hours weekly on communication alone. Think about that for a moment. Communication isn’t just part of the job anymore. Communication is the job. Why New Tech Leaders Feel it Most Intensely? As someone who works with hundreds of tech leaders each year through workshops and one-on-one mentoring, I see this pattern repeatedly. New leaders get caught in what I call the “triple communication trap”: You haven’t let go of your Individual Contributor identity. You were promoted because you were exceptional at solving technical problems. Your brain is wired to think in code, systems, and architecture. But now, your value comes from enabling others to do that work. This identity shift is brutal, and most new leaders try to do both—leading AND coding—which doubles their communication load while halving their effectiveness at each. You lack Communication Intelligence (CQ). We invest heavily in developing technical skills—learning new frameworks, mastering cloud architectures, and understanding AI/ML pipelines. But communication? We assume it’s intuitive. It’s not. Just as you wouldn’t expect someone to write production-ready code without training, you can’t expect leaders to navigate complex human dynamics without developing their Communication Intelligence. As I explored in the article on Communication Debt, many organizations suffer from a severe lack of investment in communication processes. New leaders inherit this debt without realizing it, then struggle to understand why their teams seem disengaged or why projects constantly fail due to “miscommunication.” You’re drowning in channels without a strategy. Email. Slack. Teams. Zoom. Jira. Confluence. GitHub comments. The average tech leader toggles between 8-10 communication platforms daily. Research shows that 55% of professionals say the constant flow of notifications across channels makes it hard to concentrate on important tasks, and 47% feel unsure about selecting the right channel to communicate information. Without a clear communication strategy, new leaders respond reactively to whatever channel screams loudest, creating a perpetual state of context-switching that destroys productivity and cognitive capacity. The Real Price We Pay The communication crisis in tech leadership isn’t just about feeling busy. It has a measurable business impact. Grammarly’s research found that poor communication costs businesses $1.2 trillion annually through lost productivity, elevated turnover, and customer churn. For a single organization, business leaders estimate teams lose 7.47 hours weekly to poor communication, equating to $12,506 per employee yearly. But here’s what hits new leaders hardest: This isn’t about others failing to communicate well. It’s about you learning to communicate strategically as a leader. And nobody taught you how. The consequences compound quickly: Your team becomes disengaged because they’re unclear about priorities and expectations Projects slip because cross-functional alignment fails Top performers leave citing a lack of clarity and direction You burn out trying to be everywhere, for everyone, all the time According to Gallup’s State of the Global Workplace 2024 Report, only one in three employees is engaged at work, and burnout continues to rise. New leaders, trying to prove themselves while learning their role, often push themselves beyond sustainable limits. Two Strategies to Navigate Communication Overload After working with tech leaders across organizations ranging from startups to global enterprises, I’ve identified four core strategies that make the difference between drowning and thriving. #1 Contract and Re-Contract Constantly Most new leaders assume their team knows what’s expected. They don’t. The contract you think you have—about goals, responsibilities, communication norms—exists only in your head. I teach leaders to avoid the toxic questions “Do you have any questions?” and “Is everything clear?” These prompts trigger social pressure to say “yes” even when confusion reigns. Instead, try: “I want to check if I explained this clearly. Can you describe back to me how you understood this?” This simple shift transforms an assumption into confirmation. Do this weekly with your team. When circumstances change (and in tech, they always do), re-contract explicitly rather than making unilateral announcements. #2 Develop Your Communication Intelligence (CQ) Just as you learned technical skills through deliberate practice, you must develop CQ intentionally. This means: Understanding that different people need information delivered in different ways Learning to read behavioral cues that signal misunderstanding or disengagement Recognizing your own communication preferences and consciously stretching beyond them Investing 10-15 seconds at the start of each interaction to observe how the other person communicates, then tailoring your approach Most communication is tailored to ourselves, not to others. We like detailed written documentation, so we send 10-page specs. We prefer face-to-face conversation, so we schedule yet another meeting. Strategic leaders adapt their communication to what works for their audience, not what’s comfortable for them. One CEO I worked with replaced weekly status meetings with short “mission huddles” focused on priorities

Czytaj dalej
Leadership

Do You Want More Visibility as a Leader? Here’s How to Do It.

To have a greater impact as leaders, we need to be more visible. I know that you would prefer the scenario: “Who needs to know, they know” or “Our product is going to speak for itself”, but the truth is that getting people know about what you do is something that’s not just happening. We need to speak up about our ideas, about what we’ve done, what we’ve designed, what we want to change, or what we’ve changed already, because nobody’s going to notice that on their own. Nobody’s going to guess that it is important, to assume that it’s somehow valuable. Harsh, but true. So today I want to focus on what we can do in practice to build more visibility. I’m going to share with you some of my own strategies, so you can just take, copy, and paste them, adding a little bit more flavour to your individual situation. We are going to divide those things into internal and external leadership visibility strategies.     How to Build Visibility Inside the Organization?   If you’re working in the organization: It can be a big organization / a corporate world, or in a smaller organization, but you are inside, what can you do to build your visibility? First, you have your team level. I’m sure that you have some team meetings, knowledge sharing sessions, weekly meetings, retrospectives; depends on the setup that you are working in. These are the places that are already designed for you to share knowledge, experiences, lessons, mistakes, or failures (with lessons learned) that you can show to others. When you speak up, this is always something that makes you more visible. So even if you’re a Base Imaginer, Base Thinker who has the preference to not speak up very much, I would like you to challenge yourself a little bit to be more verbal. I know that you believe that if you work hard in silence, you create valuable solutions to the problems the organization or clients face, the other people will notice you. I don’t want to be a dream-crusher here, but it’s just not going to happen. People are very focused on their own things and don’t have much spare energy to look around. You need to show them. So, I invite you to do one thing like that per week, in a bi-weekly meeting, or once per month. Start small: The goal is for your brain to see that it makes sense and is worth the stretch. Share something that you’ve created, optimised, or automated recently.  Don’t make it complicated, just use what you’re already doing in your work. The second thing you can do is to share knowledge by sending some links to the podcast episodes that were interesting for you to others, a book you’ve read, a YouTube video you watched, or a digital course you’ve taken. I’m sure that you have some Teams / Slack / WhatsApp group in your company where you share some stuff. Leverage that: Share links to YouTube videos, to TED Talks, to podcasts, to books, to articles, to documentation, to Reddit, basically anything that you’re using to get knowledge. Share that with others with a short comment like: Hey! I’m sharing this as something interesting…, It helped me in a way that…, Check it out!”. Easy. You don’t even need to speak up verbally; you just copy and paste a link. But again, it puts you on the map that you share things with others. That way, you can become a go-to person for people who are looking for a certain answer or a source of knowledge. Being a go-to person builds visibility. Start with the team level and then move up. What can you do on the organizational level? Be the voice. The voice of the change or a project. Engage yourself in the project or initiative team, even if there is some extra work to do. You can always make a contract with your boss to be redirected when it comes to your work to a little bit to some project that is maybe like a matrix project in the organization. Maybe this is something different. Maybe this is something that you never done before. Being more visible by creating value is one of the most important things in organizations. The good news? It is not about speaking up all the time. It’s about being visible by being engaged. Of course, you can make some presentations, being a face of the project or initiative, during the Town Hall meeting, some other online or onsite gatherings. Even better! Check out what kind of possibilities there are in your organization that you can leverage. Be a mentor or a buddy for new joiners, or let others shadow you. There are more things you can do than you think. Choose what works for you, start with one thing, and then move to another one if you want.   How to Build Visibility Outside the Organization?   If you are outside of the organization: Maybe you are a consultant / a Fractional CTO / COO, etc.; if you are running your own business: you’re an entrepreneur, a Founder, you can do many things. And if you’re inside the organization, you can use some of those as well (these strategies are not reserved only for “the externals”). First, blogging. You can say that blogging is dead, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. People like to read, especially short forms. Because if you are a visual person, what you read sticks in your brain. So, blogging can be your visibility builder, especially when you take care of the SEO. It can be very well-positioned in Google and in AI tools where people are researching things. It is super easy and low-cost to start. Just start writing down what you know about. Share your expertise, research, pieces of lessons that you have, failures, and success stories. People love reading about those things. The second

Czytaj dalej