Lemanskills.com

How to Focus in the World of Constant Distraction?

Focus. Use your brain, you are not the monkey. You can control yourself while having an urge to use your phone for the 30th time during the last 15 minutes.

We hear it constantly when we want to learn how to be more focused, to not get distracted in this crazy world where literally everything can disturb us. Endless notifications on our phones, Teams/Slack pings, shiny new e-mail icon, phone calls, other people, kids, pets, noises from the street or neighbors’ apartments. As well as our own thoughts, constantly running as they want, making up stories that often aren’t even real.

And on the top of everything there is a constant change, another crisis that we need to deal with, endless task lists and multiple hats that every single one of us wear every day. How to stay sane and focused in that kind of environment?

How to be mindful about what we do in the world of a constant distraction? Let’s find out more about it today.

The myth of multitasking

I remember the times when I was a recruiter, it was around 8 years ago. And I can recall vividly some of the “requirements” sections that I saw all over the internet or that I’ve created myself.

“Multitasking” or “an ability to cover multiple tasks at the same time” was one of the most important skill that hiring managers were looking for. And we were looking for as recruiters in the resumes of our candidates. It was like a superpower: everyone wanted to have it (I remember training offers that were available back then shouting things like: “how to acquire a skill of multitasking”; true story) and everyone wanted to have those skills in their teams.

Multitasking. The key word of an efficient and effective employee. Such a shame that this is something completely pointless and misleading.

The truth is that there’s no such thing as multitasking. We cannot do two or more things at the same time with a proper focus. When you talk with somebody and go through your e-mail inbox, do you remember anything that this person have said to you? Or when you participate in a workshop or a webinar and responding on Teams or Slack at the same time, do you remember what you were supposed to learn during the session?

Exactly. You don’t, because it’s not possible. You cannot multitask, you can at most shift your attention really quickly from one thing to another. But the more you do it, the longer it is to come back fully to where you were a few seconds or minutes ago.

“One Thing” by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan is an amazing book about focusing on one thing at the time. One task, one goal, one person. One skill, one meeting. Do one thing, finish it, then start another one. No distractions, ignoring the notifications, focusing on what you do. It sound like a joke or the easiest thing in the world that even a monkey can do. But is it really that simple?

Try to do it today (or tomorrow, if you read this late in the evening). Do one thing at the time. Turn off the notifications on your phone and on your computer just for one day (if you can’t do it for longer for some reasons). When you do something, do it mindfully, with your full focus. If it lasts one minute at the beginning, that’s fine. When you eat breakfast, don’t scroll social media: focus on the taste, the smell, the temperature of the dish (by the way, when was the last time you actually experienced how the food you eat is like? Just saying.). When you talk to your friend, put the phone down: focus on what they say to you. When you do the task at work, do one thing. Make a mindful decision about what it is and how long you want to work on it. It’ll be uncomfortable at the beginning, that’s for sure. But it’ll pass and then you’ll see the difference.

Am I addicted to my phone?

How often do you activate your screen during the day? How long do you use certain apps that you have on your phone? You can easily check it in the settings section on your phone, using the option “screen time” or “daily device usage” (depends on what software you use).

Do you feel uncomfortable, maybe stressed when you don’t have your phone near you? A little panic when you can’t find it anywhere in your pockets? You can’t sleep when you don’t have your device on your night stand? (You’re saying that you have an alarm on it? Buy a clock and put it near your bed, it costs 5$).

More than 1 “yes” as answers on the questions above? It might mean that you are addicted to your phone. It’s like with any other addiction: sugar, binge watching of TV series, snacks or alcohol. It means that we can’t live in a balance without using a certain stimuli that has an influence on our nervous system. And smartphones became some kind of extension of our human identity: what you have on your phone is who you are as a person, it’s an integral part of you.

And this little devil is #1 source of distractions: social media or Teams/Slack notifications, e-mails, text messages, phone calls, notifications from countless apps we have. And every single sound or buzz is a kick off of the dopamine in our brain. It’s addictive and tech creators know very well about this. Be smarter, make a decision – don’t let the tech decide for you.

In or out of control?

The distractors that are present in our lives have different roots. Regarding that, they can be in or out of our scope of influence. Do you know where they land on the scale from “zero influence” to “full influence”? If you are not sure, you can use the Influence Matrix: it’s going to be its next application.

Make a list of all the things that distract you. Notifications (list all the apps that notifies you about anything): from your phone/computer/other device you have. People (at home and at work), noises in the background (in my case there are few construction sides around my building), endless thoughts that you have in your head and they never stop (i.e. worrying about certain things).

Now, put every item you gathered in one of two quadrants that are connected to the influence level. Treat it like that: do I have an influence to turn this distractor off? Can I physically do it? It’s a yes or no situation. Put those elements where they belong at the moment, no judgement: for now, it’s just an analysis. Focus on everything you can think about.

You have it? Now, start with the full influence part. Cut what you can within 5 minutes or less (the easiest will be app notifications). If you have less influence, or maybe you need to recontract with someone else the way of communication or being responsive: have those conversations right away or plan them during the next 2 weeks. It’s crucial to make an action, even if it’s uncomfortable. To protect yourself, your time and focus, you need to take care of what you need.

Now the low or zero influence quadrant. I’ll share my example: I don’t have any influence on how other blocks of flats in the housing area where I live appear. So, I have zero influence on the noises that are connected with the construction side (which is literally in front of my living room). I can use my energy and time to be angry, pissed off all the time, but what good it’ll bring me? That’s the example of the situation when we need to let it go. Use your headset or earplugs if the noise is unbearable, get yourself in a distance of what’s happening there. And if possible accept that it’s not going to last forever: the construction will be finished someday.

If in this quadrant you have pets, kids, other people who live in your home or coworkers: you need to come back to the contracting tool I linked above (pets will be hard to contract with, but other people are manageable). Set the rules of a deep work/focus time for yourself with them. Remember about using OK-OK position and a good intention in your communication. You don’t do it to hurt anyone: you do it to protect yourself and feel better, for you and for others as well.

How to stay OK-OK?

Staying in the OK-OK position is one of the most important things we need to do if we want to be more focused, to get rid of the distractions. Let’s say that we want to put some boundaries: we turn off the notifications and check our e-mails only 2 times a day. And one of our coworkers wrote to us a Teams messages: “did you see my e-mail?” (classic). In that case it’s really easy to go into the guilty road (I am not OK and they are OK quadrant), back out of the decision that we made and just respond to this e-mail.

But when you choose to behave that way, nothing will ever change. You are going to be more and more frustrated, mad at people that they don’t respect you. The truth is: you don’t respect yourself in the first place, if you allow those situations to happen. Instead of withdrawing the decision about the notification, you can answer: “I haven’t seen you e-mail yet, since as mentioned in my footage, in order to increase my efficiency I check my e-mail mailbox twice a day. My next slot for this is at 3PM, I’ll come back to you with an answer at that time”. Simple, from the good intention, protecting the boundaries. Hard? For some of us extremely, especially when you have a “Please People” driver on a really high position. But necessary to have a better life.

The bottom line

Living in the world of constant distraction is an inevitable thing. We can’t change how the whole environment is build, but we sure have an influence on how we operate within it. We are not monkeys (we share around 98% DNA code with some of them though), we can (and should) use our brains to make conscious decisions about how we use our focus time we have on this planet.

Do you want to spend your live mindfully, using your time in the best possible way and have a feeling of satisfaction at the end of each day? Or do you want to waste it on responding to distractors that in most cases don’t add anything good or valuable to your life?

The choice is yours.

Udostępnij

Komentarze

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
0 komentarzy
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

Czytaj także

Leadership

The Number One Struggle of New Tech Leaders (And How to Navigate It)

You’ve just been promoted. The title changed from Senior Developer to Engineering Manager, from Tech Lead to Director of Technology. Congratulations—you’ve worked hard for this moment. But then reality hits. Your inbox explodes. Slack messages pile up faster than you can read them. You’re pulled into meeting after meeting. Your calendar looks like a game of Tetris gone wrong. And that code you used to write? That deep work you loved? It’s now squeezed into whatever gaps remain between 1:1s, stand-ups, stakeholder updates, and strategic planning sessions. Welcome to the number one struggle every brand-new leader in technology faces: Communication overload. The Hidden Cost of Being “Always On” Here’s what nobody tells you when you step into leadership: Your job has fundamentally transformed from creating solutions to constant communication. And the data confirms this shift is real—and overwhelming. According to Grammarly’s 2024 State of Business Communication Report, developed with The Harris Poll, knowledge workers now spend 88% of their workweek communicating. For new tech leaders juggling team management, cross-functional collaboration, and strategic initiatives, that percentage often exceeds 100% of a standard work week. The report reveals something even more alarming: in the past 12 months, 78% of professionals saw increases in communication frequency, while 73% are using more communication channels than ever before. For HR teams and large organizations—exactly where many new tech leaders find themselves—many report spending over 40 hours weekly on communication alone. Think about that for a moment. Communication isn’t just part of the job anymore. Communication is the job. Why New Tech Leaders Feel it Most Intensely? As someone who works with hundreds of tech leaders each year through workshops and one-on-one mentoring, I see this pattern repeatedly. New leaders get caught in what I call the “triple communication trap”: You haven’t let go of your Individual Contributor identity. You were promoted because you were exceptional at solving technical problems. Your brain is wired to think in code, systems, and architecture. But now, your value comes from enabling others to do that work. This identity shift is brutal, and most new leaders try to do both—leading AND coding—which doubles their communication load while halving their effectiveness at each. You lack Communication Intelligence (CQ). We invest heavily in developing technical skills—learning new frameworks, mastering cloud architectures, and understanding AI/ML pipelines. But communication? We assume it’s intuitive. It’s not. Just as you wouldn’t expect someone to write production-ready code without training, you can’t expect leaders to navigate complex human dynamics without developing their Communication Intelligence. As I explored in the article on Communication Debt, many organizations suffer from a severe lack of investment in communication processes. New leaders inherit this debt without realizing it, then struggle to understand why their teams seem disengaged or why projects constantly fail due to “miscommunication.” You’re drowning in channels without a strategy. Email. Slack. Teams. Zoom. Jira. Confluence. GitHub comments. The average tech leader toggles between 8-10 communication platforms daily. Research shows that 55% of professionals say the constant flow of notifications across channels makes it hard to concentrate on important tasks, and 47% feel unsure about selecting the right channel to communicate information. Without a clear communication strategy, new leaders respond reactively to whatever channel screams loudest, creating a perpetual state of context-switching that destroys productivity and cognitive capacity. The Real Price We Pay The communication crisis in tech leadership isn’t just about feeling busy. It has a measurable business impact. Grammarly’s research found that poor communication costs businesses $1.2 trillion annually through lost productivity, elevated turnover, and customer churn. For a single organization, business leaders estimate teams lose 7.47 hours weekly to poor communication, equating to $12,506 per employee yearly. But here’s what hits new leaders hardest: This isn’t about others failing to communicate well. It’s about you learning to communicate strategically as a leader. And nobody taught you how. The consequences compound quickly: Your team becomes disengaged because they’re unclear about priorities and expectations Projects slip because cross-functional alignment fails Top performers leave citing a lack of clarity and direction You burn out trying to be everywhere, for everyone, all the time According to Gallup’s State of the Global Workplace 2024 Report, only one in three employees is engaged at work, and burnout continues to rise. New leaders, trying to prove themselves while learning their role, often push themselves beyond sustainable limits. Two Strategies to Navigate Communication Overload After working with tech leaders across organizations ranging from startups to global enterprises, I’ve identified four core strategies that make the difference between drowning and thriving. #1 Contract and Re-Contract Constantly Most new leaders assume their team knows what’s expected. They don’t. The contract you think you have—about goals, responsibilities, communication norms—exists only in your head. I teach leaders to avoid the toxic questions “Do you have any questions?” and “Is everything clear?” These prompts trigger social pressure to say “yes” even when confusion reigns. Instead, try: “I want to check if I explained this clearly. Can you describe back to me how you understood this?” This simple shift transforms an assumption into confirmation. Do this weekly with your team. When circumstances change (and in tech, they always do), re-contract explicitly rather than making unilateral announcements. #2 Develop Your Communication Intelligence (CQ) Just as you learned technical skills through deliberate practice, you must develop CQ intentionally. This means: Understanding that different people need information delivered in different ways Learning to read behavioral cues that signal misunderstanding or disengagement Recognizing your own communication preferences and consciously stretching beyond them Investing 10-15 seconds at the start of each interaction to observe how the other person communicates, then tailoring your approach Most communication is tailored to ourselves, not to others. We like detailed written documentation, so we send 10-page specs. We prefer face-to-face conversation, so we schedule yet another meeting. Strategic leaders adapt their communication to what works for their audience, not what’s comfortable for them. One CEO I worked with replaced weekly status meetings with short “mission huddles” focused on priorities and

Czytaj dalej
Leadership

Do You Want More Visibility as a Leader? Here’s How to Do It.

To have a greater impact as leaders, we need to be more visible. I know that you would prefer the scenario: “Who needs to know, they know” or “Our product is going to speak for itself”, but the truth is that getting people know about what you do is something that’s not just happening. We need to speak up about our ideas, about what we’ve done, what we’ve designed, what we want to change, or what we’ve changed already, because nobody’s going to notice that on their own. Nobody’s going to guess that it is important, to assume that it’s somehow valuable. Harsh, but true. So today I want to focus on what we can do in practice to build more visibility. I’m going to share with you some of my own strategies, so you can just take, copy, and paste them, adding a little bit more flavour to your individual situation. We are going to divide those things into internal and external leadership visibility strategies.     How to Build Visibility Inside the Organization?   If you’re working in the organization: It can be a big organization / a corporate world, or in a smaller organization, but you are inside, what can you do to build your visibility? First, you have your team level. I’m sure that you have some team meetings, knowledge sharing sessions, weekly meetings, retrospectives; depends on the setup that you are working in. These are the places that are already designed for you to share knowledge, experiences, lessons, mistakes, or failures (with lessons learned) that you can show to others. When you speak up, this is always something that makes you more visible. So even if you’re a Base Imaginer, Base Thinker who has the preference to not speak up very much, I would like you to challenge yourself a little bit to be more verbal. I know that you believe that if you work hard in silence, you create valuable solutions to the problems the organization or clients face, the other people will notice you. I don’t want to be a dream-crusher here, but it’s just not going to happen. People are very focused on their own things and don’t have much spare energy to look around. You need to show them. So, I invite you to do one thing like that per week, in a bi-weekly meeting, or once per month. Start small: The goal is for your brain to see that it makes sense and is worth the stretch. Share something that you’ve created, optimised, or automated recently.  Don’t make it complicated, just use what you’re already doing in your work. The second thing you can do is to share knowledge by sending some links to the podcast episodes that were interesting for you to others, a book you’ve read, a YouTube video you watched, or a digital course you’ve taken. I’m sure that you have some Teams / Slack / WhatsApp group in your company where you share some stuff. Leverage that: Share links to YouTube videos, to TED Talks, to podcasts, to books, to articles, to documentation, to Reddit, basically anything that you’re using to get knowledge. Share that with others with a short comment like: Hey! I’m sharing this as something interesting…, It helped me in a way that…, Check it out!”. Easy. You don’t even need to speak up verbally; you just copy and paste a link. But again, it puts you on the map that you share things with others. That way, you can become a go-to person for people who are looking for a certain answer or a source of knowledge. Being a go-to person builds visibility. Start with the team level and then move up. What can you do on the organizational level? Be the voice. The voice of the change or a project. Engage yourself in the project or initiative team, even if there is some extra work to do. You can always make a contract with your boss to be redirected when it comes to your work to a little bit to some project that is maybe like a matrix project in the organization. Maybe this is something different. Maybe this is something that you never done before. Being more visible by creating value is one of the most important things in organizations. The good news? It is not about speaking up all the time. It’s about being visible by being engaged. Of course, you can make some presentations, being a face of the project or initiative, during the Town Hall meeting, some other online or onsite gatherings. Even better! Check out what kind of possibilities there are in your organization that you can leverage. Be a mentor or a buddy for new joiners, or let others shadow you. There are more things you can do than you think. Choose what works for you, start with one thing, and then move to another one if you want.   How to Build Visibility Outside the Organization?   If you are outside of the organization: Maybe you are a consultant / a Fractional CTO / COO, etc.; if you are running your own business: you’re an entrepreneur, a Founder, you can do many things. And if you’re inside the organization, you can use some of those as well (these strategies are not reserved only for “the externals”). First, blogging. You can say that blogging is dead, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. People like to read, especially short forms. Because if you are a visual person, what you read sticks in your brain. So, blogging can be your visibility builder, especially when you take care of the SEO. It can be very well-positioned in Google and in AI tools where people are researching things. It is super easy and low-cost to start. Just start writing down what you know about. Share your expertise, research, pieces of lessons that you have, failures, and success stories. People love reading about those things. The second

Czytaj dalej
Leadership

Why Are We So Frustrated as Tech Leaders?

Just think about it for a moment. When was the last time you were angry, pissed off, or frustrated with the other person as a leader? Your direct report didn’t deliver something on time or to the quality that you wanted them to deliver? A person promised to do something, and they didn’t? Or a person asked you a question, you answered, and then they came back with the same question one time, two times, three times, five times? When was the time when you agreed on something? You made a contract on who is doing what:  With the client, a contractor, or a vendor; you delivered your part, and they didn’t? Or they did, but the quality of the work was not so good, and you got angry, you thought a lot of not-so-nice things, and maybe you even behaved in an aggressive way. If you’re nodding right now, you’re in the right place. In this article, I’m going to give you answers on why you get so upset when things like that happen, and what to do to manage it better. Let’s go into it. Why am I reacting like that? Do you know people who, even if something’s going on, are calm? It might seem that they don’t even care when you look at them. They’re all chilled out. And then, it’s you: Frustrated, angry, mad at others. Burning up, losing energy, and being exhausted at the end of the day. Is it your reality? If yes, it means that from a personality perspective, you have a strong Thinker or a Persister floor in your Personality Condo. Maybe a Promoter as well, if you are getting angry with people for being too slow (in your frame of reference, of course). It means that your beliefs about yourself in the world go like this: Thinker: “People need to be competent, deliver work on time, efficiently covering what’s there to be done”. Persister: “People need to be trustworthy, fulfilling the contracts that we have for delivering things, following processes we have in place”. Promoter: “People need to be strong, fast, and self-sufficient. They need to act, instead of talk or analyse all the time”. If we have convictions like that in our brains, and it is our default way of working, every person who’s not doing things like that will make us angry or resentful. It’s mostly unconscious, and until we start learning more about Communication Intelligence (CQ), it’s an automatic thinking pattern we go into in every situation that jeopardises how we think the world should look. Eustress vs Distress The answer to why we’re reacting in an aggressive or manipulative way when we have those thoughts in our brains is that we are in distress. Let’s unpack the stress part, since it’s not very often described in two ways: Eustress and Distress. Eustress is a positive stress. It: mobilizes us to take action; positively influences ourselves and people around us; keeps us in strengthening beliefs, pushes us to do things that bring extraordinary results. Eustress is a feeling of excitement, a little bit of adrenaline rushing through our veins, making us brave to go into the uncomfortable. Like being on the stage, sharing things we are truly passionate about with the thought in our brains that we can really change something while sharing it with the world. But, as always, there’s a dark side to the story. Distress is a negative stress. It: is an automatic sequence of thinking, reacting, and doing things (or not doing them at all); negatively influences ourselves and the people around us; keeps us in limiting beliefs, takes us away from the access to the resources we have in ourselves (intellectual, emotional, cognitive, etc.). We go into distress most of the time right away in two situations: We don’t have our physiological needs covered; We don’t have our motivational / psychological needs covered. So, if you’re hungry, thirsty, you haven’t been in the bathroom for hours, you lack sleep or physical touch of a close person, your body is upset, which makes it distressed. And if your motivational needs connected to your personality Base are not covered, your brain and soul are upset, which makes it distressed. Distress is visible when we are anxious, our heart is beating fast, our blood pressure is high, our voice, hands, and knees are shaking, sometimes we have a sore throat, and we can’t even say a thing. It’s when we forget everything we wanted to say, even if we’re well-prepared and equipped. It’s when we lose the brain-spine connection, and we start to behave extremely weirdly, like we’re not ourselves anymore. That’s where the anger, frustration, and consequently, burnout comes. What can we do about it? The awareness is one thing (super important), but action is crucial. Some things will be transferable for every personality Base, and some will be tailored. Let’s start with the individual ones, connected with the 3 types we’ve talked about above: For Thinkers: Make clear contracts, share tasks and responsibilities transparently, and put deadlines whenever you can. Ask for feedback for your efficient work delivered regularly. Structure your day / week, book slots for deep work in your calendar, and protect your time. For Persisters: Make clear contracts, double-check if people have everything they need (resources, skills, technology, etc.) to work efficiently. Ask for feedback for your principled work regularly. Share your convictions with others and have a conversation when you can gather positive recognition for what you believe in. For Promoters: Make a plan and follow it. Remember that not all people work as fast as you, so give them more time before the deadline is due. Take care of the diversification of what you do, so you don’t get bored too quickly. Plan some adrenaline rushes in your private and/or work life. The things you can do to protect yourself from going into distress that are universal to all personality bases are not fancy. I don’t think

Czytaj dalej
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x